Dating can seem like a mystery for Christians who have their own expectations about dating and thoughts about what is or is not appropriate. Follow the steps below to sort through some of the mystery and ease your way into the world of Christian dating.
Become an active member of a church. Your mother probably always told you that the best place to meet your future spouse is in church. Today your options are many, so go church hopping and sooner or later you are bound to find a church that not only has other single members but shares your philosophies and tenets. Find a church that has a vision you can be passionate about or programs you are excited about. Chances are if you are passionate about the church's ideas there will be other people including singles who share those passions. What better way to bond than over shared passions?
Sign up for an Internet Christian dating service or several Christian dating services. After college, meeting other Christians to date can sometimes be difficult. Christian dating sites have become very popular and are no longer seen as taboo. There are several options here. Check the resource section for the websites.
Be yourself. It sounds cliche but sometimes there is a reason for the redundancy. Try not to put on airs during a date. Firstly, your date will probably see right through any false pretenses; more importantly you probably won't have a good time trying to keep up the act.
Take it slow. Most Christians want to develop a strong friendship before anything else because as brothers and sisters in your faith you want to be respectful and remain friends even if the dating relationship doesn't work out. Trust is formed through friendship, and a solid friendship is really the basis for a great relationship.
Communicate with your date. This is probably the most important step in any relationship, especially in Christian dating, because each person brings their own ideas and timetables to the relationship. As a Christian you most likely try to listen for God's guidance in all that you do, making standards for dating different for each person. It is important that you discuss what those standards or timetables might be so that there is no confusion or hurt feelings down the line.
Have fun. As long as you establish friendship first and are being honest about your feelings the deeper you get into the relationship, there is no reason you shouldn't be able to sort through any confusion previously associated with Christian dating.
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- Focus on making the other person comfortable on dates. It will take your self-consciousness away and reveal the giving person you want to be.
- Don't pretend to share a belief system with someone to get a date. Doing so is grossly dishonest and hurtful. Don't play games with people's feelings even if this means having a difficult conversation expressing your disinterest in a romantic relationship. Leading someone on would be worse than the temporary disappointment.