Contacting an ex after a breakup is a touchy thing. Do it the wrong way and you could have a temporary restraining order on your hands. However, if you take the right steps you could find yourself back with your ex in no time. Just be sure that you are doing things correctly and following the right steps and you should be fine. Fight the urge to bombard your ex with call after call and take advice from others who have been where you have been.
Think of a plan of action to take when you feel the urge to call your ex and say that you miss them. This is usually the first thing that someone wants to do after the breakup. However, this is actually going to do you more harm than good. This is because it is really annoying for an ex, especially if she wants to be away from you to think. What you should do is figure out what to do when this urge arises. You could do such things as call another friend or go for a walk. Just do what you need to do to fight the urge.
Allow enough time to pass before you even seriously consider calling your ex. There is no magic formula for this, but it would probably not be the best idea to call your ex the day after you break up. Give your ex enough time to think things over and to calm down after all that has happened between the two of you. Once the smoke has cleared you will have the best chance to contact your ex.
Think of things you know will upset your ex if you talk about them. Just try to keep the topics you talk about very general and basic when you contact your ex. Any mention of anything bad will just cause hurt feelings and will put you back where you started. Just try to keep things very light and easygoing.
Send an email to your ex. No phone calls. You want to put the power back in your ex’s hands if they are ready to talk and this approach makes it easier. Calling will make it tough, and if given the choice, your ex may get more annoyed with you. A simple email to say hello or forward a message to open the lines of communication should do. If your ex is ready to talk then you will hear back; if not, then you will need to give your ex more time.
Text message your ex by cell phone. This can be a short “hello” or “hope you are doing well” sort of message. This again puts the power back in your ex’s hands to respond or not. Following these methods will make it easier on both of you and will let you know how you should proceed.
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- Avoid phone calls or showing up unannounced, as this can make the situation awkward and could make things worse.