Texting is a popular method of communication, often used in place of phone calls or e-mails. Sending brief, quick messages to each other allows couples to keep up friendly communication, learn about each other and flirt. However, there are some rules to keep in mind. No matter what stage of dating you are in, you should be careful not to replace important conversations with texts.
Flirting and Texting
Flirting and texting, known as "flirtexting," is often a quick, casual way of getting to know each other before dating exclusively. According to Olivia Baniuszewics and Debra Goldstein, authors of "Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way to His Heart," not only can you get to know a person via flirtexting, you can steal their heart. One of the most important rules of texting is, "In any situation: Being needy in your text = Turn off! Being chill in you text = Turn on!" Texts in this scenario should always remain light and friendly. In later stages of a relationship, when you become exclusive with someone, flirtexting should only be done between you and your significant other. Otherwise, flirtexting with other people can go too far and become cheating.
Weeding Out Dates
If you are dating multiple people and trying to sort out who might be Mr. or Miss Right, texting can be an effective way to single people out of your dating pool. Another rule for texting daters to keep in mind is "pay attention to their attention span." If the person you are seeing doesn't show any actual interest in you in his texts, he won't place much value in having a relationship with you. For example, if the guy you are seeing only texts you late at night, after he has exhausted all of his other contacts, he's likely only interested in sex, especially if he wants a late-night rendezvous.
Texting vs. Calling
Just as with all methods of communication, there are times when texting is sufficient, and when it isn't. Another important rule in texting, which is made frequently, is to avoid texting when you should be calling each other. According to Steve Santagati and Arianne Cohen, authors of "The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate - And What Women Can Do to Come Out On Top," when "making the right call on calling and/or texting ... (remember that) texting isn't a replacement for talking." For example, if you've been called into work at the last minute and can't make your date, don't text, call. Calling is considered more personal and is a clear way to say, "You are worth the time for me to stop and call you," as opposed to a text, which can be sent while multitasking.
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- "Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way to His Heart"; Olivia Baniuszewics and Debra Goldstein; 2009
- "The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate - And What Women Can Do to Come Out On Top"; Steve Santagati and Arianne Cohen; 2008
- Enamored Girl Texting with Cell Phone image by Andy Dean from Fotolia.com