About Dating a Military Man

About Dating a Military Man

by Liza Hollis

About Liza Hollis

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Liza Hollis has been writing for print and online publications since 2003. Her work has appeared on various digital properties, including USAToday.com. Hollis earned a degree in English Literature from the University of Florida.

Dating a man in the military can be one of the most rewarding experiences you could ever endure. For one, you have the pride of dating someone who is selflessly offering their service to the country they love. That kind of dedication speaks wonders for how your military man might treat you. However, there are some definite drawbacks to dating someone in the military. This dedication to their country has drawn you to them, but it could also be the thing that draws you far apart emotionally and geographically.

Considerations

If you are currently or are considering becoming romantically involved with someone who is currently enlisted in the military, it is important that you consider that their desire to be with you does not come first. Once someone has enlisted in the military, they cannot simply shirk their responsibilities later. Alhough the physical distance between the two of you can be rough, the joy of being reunited after a tour away is enough to make it all worth it. However, if you are considering dating someone in the military, get ready for heartache. As wonderful as it feels to see your military man when he comes back, it is going to hurt tenfold when they have to leave again.

Misconceptions

It is not always the case that dating someone in the military means sacrificing your ability to keep in contact with them at all while they are gone. No, you will not have the comfort and convenience of civilian relationships where you usually live in the same city or at least the same country and have access to communications. In the military, soldiers are sent to far and remote places that most of us would never dream of going to. While this may make it difficult to keep in contact, it is not impossible. It is often possible to talk via phone, Internet, or postal mail with your beau, no matter how many thousands of miles you are apart.

Warning

In order to have a healthy and successful relationship with someone in the military, you have to be willing to offer your man a lot of trust. Likewise, they will have to be able to trust you. There is no way that either of you will be able to ignore the jealousy and fear that comes from being thousands of miles apart, but what is important is how you handle it. You cannot constantly accuse each other of foul play. The most important warning is that you will need to be able to handle a long distance relationship for an extended period of time. It will be difficult to be without him for up to a year at a time, but you will need to keep it in perspective as he is demonstrating his duty to his country first. If it is meant to be, your relationship can hit full swing when he returns safe and sound.

Benefits

One benefit of having a relationship with a military man, especially while they are in boot camp or away on tours of duty, is that it gives you the flexibility to achieve your goals and dreams as well. You will have the freedom to do the things that make you happy, all the while knowing that there is someone who loves and supports you---even if he is away in training or on active duty.

Expert Insight

Again, the potential to have a long-term relationship with a military man is a great positive for these types of relationships. Obviously, they are no stranger to the concept of commitment and may be willing to fully commit themselves to you when they return. However, it is not your responsibility to stay with your military man simply because you feel an obligation to him. Be open and honest with your military man, just as you would in any other healthy relationship.

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