Dating can be a daunting process. You may feel as if you are being judged by the other person, causing you to become quiet and look uninterested. This can lead to a strange date as you sit there tongue-tied and afraid to open your mouth for fear of scaring the person off. You need to remember that your dating partner is likely experiencing similar feelings as well. Try to have fun and enjoy yourself. Take each date as a new experience and don't expect too much of yourself or your date.
Everyone may want to date the perfect person, but that is just not realistic. Don't expect too much of someone. Your date may not look like a movie star, but he could be a really caring, considerate person. Maybe you only date brunettes and your date is a blonde. That's OK. Don't be stuck on one type and possibly lose a chance at a healthy relationship. Focus on his personality. Does he make you laugh? Find the good in someone and then you won't be disappointed.
You want to date and meet new people, but if you come across as unhappy or moody, you may turn the other person off. So before going out on a date, look into the mirror. Tell yourself how good you look. Focus on the positive things about yourself. Take one part of your body, such as your eyes and focus on it, telling yourself how much your eyes stand out and how many compliments you get. Do this for at least 10 minutes to remind yourself of your worth. Use other affirmations as well. State to yourself that you are lovable and anyone would be lucky to have you. This builds your self-confidence so you can relax on your date.
Don't try to be someone else. You will come across as phony and it's hard to keep up the facade. Be yourself and talk about your interests, along with asking your date about his. Make sure to dress the way you usually do and be comfortable. How are you going to date this person again if you have not been truthful? If she doesn't like the real you, she is not worth your time.
You must show your date you care about his interests. You cannot monopolize the conversation to the point that your date does not get a word in. You must stop and ask questions about him and actually listen to his answers. You can repeat back a phrase he just said, so he knows you have been following along. If you want to date this person again, you want him to know you are considerate and thoughtful, not selfish.
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- Psychology Today; Dating Advice 101: A Mirror Exercise That Boosts Your Self-Confidence; Diana Kirschner, Ph.D.; September 2009
- WebMD; Dating Dangers: Love's a Minefield; Jeanie Lerche Davis
- Psychology Today; The 411 on Positive Self-Affirmations and Dating Success; Diana Kirschner, Ph.D; June 2009
- Psychology Today; I Hate Dating in NY; Jen Kim
- WebMD; Jennifer Love Hewitt's 13 Real-Life Dating Dos and Don'ts; Gina Shaw
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