How to Deal With a Breakup When You Still Have Feelings for That Person

by Naomi Millburn
How to Deal With a Breakup When You Still Have Feelings for That Person

In the beginning stages of romance, nothing can seem more idyllic and perfect. You may feel hopeful, you may think about the future all of the time and your life may seem to be moving forward. Then, before you know it and for whatever reason, you're breaking up even though you still have intense feelings for the other person. Despite feeling like your world is crashing down on you all at once, keep your chin up and work on surviving the breakup in a healthy and dignified way.

Step 1

Eliminate all reminders of your relationship. If you're dealing with tough breakup feelings, the last thing you need is constant reminders of what you once had. If you're trying to move on with your life, take down smiling portraits of you and your ex from your wall, maybe even throwing them out. Pack up the CD that contains "your song." Dispose of the sweatshirt he gave you for your first holiday season as a couple. As emotionally taxing as discarding these memories may be, it can be helpful in allowing you to move on and not live in the past.

Step 2

Spend a little bit of time alone. Mourning the end of a relationship is healthy and normal. If you still harbor feelings for another person, you cannot expect them to go away overnight. Take a little breather in your life and give yourself permission to feel your emotions deeply. Allow yourself to cry as much as you want. Write down what is going on in your head and your heart in a journal. Hug stuffed animals to sleep at night to gain some comfort. Give yourself permission to process your complex emotions. Set a time limit for yourself, however, so you do not allow the breakup to take over your entire life.

Step 3

Look at the breakup as an opportunity to learn and grow, although it may be hard. Analyze what happened in your relationship and what you may have done to contribute to its downfall. Try to learn from this and tell yourself that now you know not to repeat the same behaviors in future relationships.

Step 4

Acknowledge to yourself that the relationship is really over. If you still are madly in love with your ex and feel like the possibility of getting back together is real, then it may be very hard for you to move on. Look at the reality of the situation and admit to yourself that it is done. Once you are comfortable with that fact, you may be able to gain the freedom necessary to move on.

Step 5

Take things one step at a time. If you think about going through your whole life without your ex, it may seem very overwhelming. Instead of focusing on large chunks of time, tell yourself that first you need to make it through the day.

Step 6

Open up to the people you love. In tough times, your closest friends and family are there for you. If you feel alone and vulnerable, reach out to the dearest people in your life. Reveal your deepest feelings and struggles, and perhaps even ask for solid advice on how to handle the situation. Most people have at some point survived a breakup, so this may help you gain perspective.

View Singles Near You

Photo Credits

  • BananaStock/BananaStock/Getty Images