Nearly every relationship is susceptible to dishonesty. When one or both partners hide or lie about actions or true intentions, it can tear a couple apart. In order to deal with the dishonesty, you must accept it and come to terms with it. In doing so, you might discover additional dishonest actions in the relationship that you will need to overcome. Collaborating with your partner will prove to be the most effective method in dealing with the dishonesty over time.
Speak with your partner concerning the dishonesty in the relationship. If it is because of new information surfacing, such as an affair or hidden debt, ask her to tell you the details and reasons she felt she must hide it. In return, if you were the one with the dishonest action, come clean about the details yourself.
Ask your partner about his intentions or motives of the dishonest act and allow him to tell you the reasons he did it. In return, tell him how his dishonesty has made you feel and any trust issues that might have arisen because of it.
Explain to your partner how the dishonesty is coming between the two of you and affecting your relationship. Point out specific occasions when the dishonesty bothers you most, such as occasions she does not answer her phone and you wonder if she is she is somewhere she shouldn't be.
Ask your partner to create an oath with you to eliminate dishonesty from the relationship. Promise to keep the oath with your partner yourself, and that you will approach each other when dishonesty occurs.
Educate your partner on the consequences of further dishonesty in the relationship. Let him know how it will affect the relationship and lead to a breaking point or potential parting of ways.
Allow yourself to open up to the idea of trusting your partner once more. While it can take time, dedication and patience, you cannot deal with the previously dishonesty until you can move past it.
Spend quality time together to nurture your relationship. Seek out activities that both of you will enjoy and that will allow you to grow closer together. You might join a gym, take dance classes or attend a beginning painters' class together.
Continue to work with each other to create an honest and health environment in the relationship. Over time, you might begin to build trust with your partner by her words and actions as she learns to avoid her previous dishonest words or actions.
Attend a couple's meeting with a counselor if you cannot come to terms with your partner on your own. The counselor will try to help the two of you work through your feeling of distrust and dishonesty in order to continue the relationship without negativity and feelings of dishonesty.
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