How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

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Some romantically call it "unrequited love," while others prefer the term "emotional hell." Either way, it is no fun to love someone who doesn't love you back. Don't go into stalker mode. Your best move now is to separate from the individual and address any self esteem issues that developed from the situation. Don't waste your time trying to "fix" the relationship. Move forward.

Step 1

Grieve the end of the relationship as you would any other. Cry all you want, suggests Barton Goldsmith, psychotherapist, in his Psychology Today article, "10 Tips to Survive a Break-up." You can also write down your thoughts in your journal. In the end, realize that the relationship you felt existed was not real. You're mourning the loss of an idea, not a reality. Allow this to comfort you.

Step 2

Assess your self-esteem. You've taken a hit. This is the time to treat yourself especially well. Get out and see people and talk with your BFFs. Don't wallow in pity alone in the dark.

Step 3

Ditch the romantic notions by deleting old photos or messages from your ex. The sooner you face facts and accept the situation, the easier and sooner you'll be able to move on. Going through breakups is part of life, and you're not the only person facing this challenge.

Step 4

Look to the future. So, you're in the stink right now -- fair enough. However, look down the line. See yourself happy, healthy and with a partner who loves you for you. Know that this future exists and is within your grasp. In the meantime, plan a sweet vacation to an island somewhere with a friend.

Step 5

Avoid the person. If you are honest with yourself, you realize you cannot be friends with this person, at least not right now. For your own mental health, give yourself some breathing room. This means no phone calls, no social media, no checking on the ex through mutual friends. You should even delete Break the addiction. It'll be good for you in the long run.

Step 6

Picture yourself as someone else. What would you say to a friend in your position? "Get up!" "Forget about that jerk!" "Why are you putting yourself through this misery?" Listen to your own advice.

Step 7

Dig deep. Figure out why you loved someone who didn't love you back. If this is a pattern, it is a huge red flag for you to explore. Therapists are here for a reason. If you need help, set up an appointment.

Step 8

Get your groove on. Go explore your world. Join up for a new class -- maybe photography or the martial arts. Meet new people. Whatever it takes, get out of your old routine and see how big the world really is.

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Warning

  • Avoid rebound relationships, or immediately looking for solace in another love interest. This could create an even more complicated emotional situation, warns Nathan Feiles, counselor, in his PsychCentral article, "How to Get Over a Breakup."

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