How to End Dating Politely With a Man You Aren't Interested In

How to End Dating Politely With a Man You Aren't Interested In

by Candice Coleman

About Candice Coleman

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Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

After a few dates with a new guy, you may find that the chemistry you hoped for is noticeably absent. You may also feel yourself being tugged in two directions: on one hand, wanting to try things out a little longer, and on the other, feeling that ending things is for the best. Knowing when -- and how -- to call it quits can be a difficult process. But it can also give your partner the freedom to find someone better suited to him.

Ending a Casual Relationship

After a few dates -- or maybe only one -- you are not feeling the chemistry and have no desire to pursue things. You might ask how he feels about the relationship -- whether he sees it becoming more serious -- to pave the way for expressing your feelings, according to the Match.com article "3 Tactics for Ending a Casual Relationship." He may share your reservations, which could make splitting up both polite and civil. You might start the conversation by asking, "How do you see our relationship?"

A Direct End

If you and the man in question have only gone on a few dates or spent a few weeks together as a couple, you are not obligated to give him a reason for the breakup when you end things, writes Hara Estroff Marano in the Psychology Today article "Exit Strategies." You might say, "The time isn't right for me to date anyone," or "I don't feel that we are a good fit." If you are actually not interested because of his poor table manners or some other negative characteristic, you do not need to mention this.

Breaking Up Kindly

If you have been dating for a while, breaking up in person shows respect, according to the TwoofUs.org article "Breaking up with Kindness and Respect." Practicing your speech ahead of time can ensure that you say what you mean -- and that you are not caught off guard when saying goodbye. You might choose to include some of his positive traits in the discussion when you breakup. For example, "You have such a great sense of humor and you are very kind, but I have come to a difficult decision. This doesn't feel right, so I want us to break up. I'm glad that I had the chance to meet you."

After the Breakup

How you handle yourself after a breakup can be just as important as planning the breakup. Giving him an opportunity to speak after you have told him you want to break up can help him in the healing process and give both of you closure, according to the TwoofUs.org article "Breaking Up With Kindness and Respect." Do not speak ill of your former partner to mutual friends, as your hurtful words could get back to him. If you hear through the grapevine that he said something about you, don't respond.

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