How to Feel Confident in Your Relationship

by Jennifer Elrod

About Jennifer Elrod

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I'm an experienced teacher with a degree in Multidisciplinary Studies-Human Learning. I've worked with various grade levels at different educational facilities. My expertise includes: lesson planning, curriculum development, child development, educational practices and parent involvement.

How to Feel Confident in Your Relationship

A healthy relationship is maintained by two individuals who are healthy and confident. Every relationship has it's fair share of challenges, but if you both are strong and stable enough to work through it, your relationship can flourish. On the other hand, if you aren't feeling good about yourself when you enter a relationship, both you and your partner may face some trouble. For example, an insecure attachment style could cause you to be clingy or even emotionally detached from your partner, suggests psychology expert Lisa Firestone in her Huffington Post article, "Is Your Attachment Style Hurting Your Relationship?" Develop your own sense of confidence for the sake of the relationship.

Step 1

Accept yourself despite your flaws, suggests psychologist John Grohol in his PsychCentral article, "Six Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem." Perfection is an illusion created by society. Be at peace with your imperfections, specifically those you have no control over. For example, if you aren't as tall as you want to be, let it go. Your partner chose you despite your shortcomings.

Step 2

Make a list of all the qualities you like about yourself. Maybe you are caring, generous, funny or smart. This will remind you of all the things you should love about yourself. Also create a list of all your accomplishments, such as graduating high school or college. These accomplishments are things you did of your own free will. You do have the strength it takes to not only survive, but to succeed.

Step 3

Let go of your comparisons. While you want to focus on your positive qualities and accomplishments, don't obsess over comparing yourself to others, especially individuals who you fear might interrupt your relationship or steal your love interest. Comparisons can damage your self-esteem, and you will find that there is always someone smarter, stronger or more skilled than yourself. Focus only on competing against yourself and reach for your personal best, suggests Grohol.

Step 4

Know you would survive just fine, even if you weren't in a relationship with your current partner. You are with your partner because you choose to be, not because you need to be. You must keep a kind of individual identity, even when you are in a relationship. Indulge in your own interests and enjoy your personal set of friends. This allows you to maintain a sense of autonomy, which keeps you from clinging desperately to your partner.

Step 5

Walk and speak with confidence. This doesn't mean you should be arrogant or put on a show for others. Simply hold your head up high and feel free to speak your opinions and thoughts during a conversation. Always remember to smile, as this simple action can reduce stress and blood pressure and increase feelings of well being, suggests licensed clinical social worker Karen Kleiman in her Psychology Today article, "Try Some Smile Therapy."

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