Flirting with a man and being intimate with a man can be a little different depending on the guy, but there are definitely some general things that almost all guys respond to. And there's a lot of things that you should avoid doing when flirting and becoming intimate with a man. Let's shed some light on this age-old conversation, and add some new information in the old noggin.
Items you will need
- Attraction to men
- Flirt attitude
Give clear signals A man needs need to know, at some point, in what way you are interested in him. You don't need to be bluntly falling all over a man for him to realize you're romantically interested in him, but don't count on a man knowing what you mean when you blink your eyes and look away as soon as he looks in your direction. These subtleties may be enough to spark his interest and get him to come talk to you, but after a while the hard to get routine gets pretty boring.
Maintain eye contact If you've heard this tip before, it's because it works. Men are extremely visual in nature, and a good way to capture and hold a man's attention is to look him dead in the eye when you're setting up for some flirting. But the real secret here is to keep your eye contact short and sweet. No one wants someone staring at them constantly during the entire conversation. All you really need to do is look at the guy in the eyes and wait until he looks back. Then hold your eye contact for a moment before looking away. Then look back at him again. Do this every so often, whenever it feels right. You want to make your eye contact as natural as possible. Don't worry, he probably won't be able to tell if you're slightly forcing yourself to hold his eye contact. Most of the time the guy is probably just as nervous as you are, or else just completely absorbed in what he's talking about to really notice if your eye contact is intentional or organic.
Turn up your femininity This is probably the most important of them all. If you only remember one thing from reading this article, remember that men love feminine partners. Put a little work into developing a really sleek, sexy and feminine walk. If there's one thing that drives a man crazy it's watching a woman walk across the room provocatively. This doesn't mean you have to look like you just got off of work at the local strip joint down the street. Just imagine how a sexy lady would walk. Walk tall with your head up high, looking forward on your eye level. Do not look down, this shows lack of confidence.
Define your personality and use it Everyone's style and approach to flirting is different. You want to do what's best for you and your personality. There's no real trick or gimmick under the sun that can force somebody to fall for you. So with that in mind, the best thing to do is just be yourself. And again, you hear this all the time, but that's only because it's true. Men may not always pick up on tons of subtle observances, but sooner or later even us guys can tell when someone's faking interest in our stories and background. Plus if you're acting like someone other than yourself and you do snag a man, now you're stuck in the position of always having to act like that person you aren't when you're around your new man friend. It's like meeting someone for the first time and you're wearing a wig, but you're really bald. Imagine coming clean on the second date that you're really bald under that thick head of wig. Awkward situation? You bet. So just be you. Have fun. Relax.
Being intimate with a man So let's say you managed to wrangle yourself a man, and you're planning on seeing him again. Now what? It's important to remember when you first meet a guy you like, that doesn't mean you have to start being sexually intimate with him right off the bat. In fact, it may seem like sleeping with a man as fast as possible could be the way to a man's heart, but in reality it usually just makes him lose interest more quickly. Men usually expect a woman to have some form of control over sexual intimacy, and sleeping with a guy way too fast just lets him know you're pretty promiscuous. If you want to be respected in a relationship, you first must respect yourself. And in many guy's heads, at least, a respectable woman doesn't tend to sleep with a different guy every night of the week. Most people usually take some time and get to know the guy a little bit more over a period of time of your choosing. A real man who is interested in you as a person, and not just you as a possible happy ending to his night at the club, will respect you for not just throwing your naked body at him the first chance you get.
Embrace intimacy If you're having trouble creating intimacy with a man, you should step back and figure some stuff out before you go diving into the flirtatious dating game. Take some time and really flush out the reasons you have these intimacy problems. Many people have some sort of fear when it comes to being really intimate with another person, and I don't just mean that sexually. It takes a lot to really open yourself up to another person, and it's something that usually happens gradually over time. You have to learn to be comfortable around men before you can learn to flirt and especially learn to be intimate with a man. And guys understand this, usually because they're feeling similarly. But if you really have a serious fear of intimacy or some sort of social phobia or serious shyness issues, make it a priority to improve. If you don't fix this fear you have, you will end up alone forever. How can you meet Mr. Right if you don't ever meet any misters at all, or if the misters you do meet are frightened off by your anti-social behavior and excessive shyness?
Do it again No matter what, keep trying. People rarely succeed in their goals and dreams on their first try, and thank God for that. It's trying new things and realizing how different things make us feel, for better or worse, that make us who we are. Keep trying new things. If you want to learn how to flirt with a man, the only way to do it is get out there and start flirting with some men. Want to be intimate with a man? Take the first step, no matter how small. Even if that first step lands you flat on your face, you'll be closer to your goal than before, and hopefully you'll even have a cool dude with you who can help pick you up off the floor and dust you off a little.
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- If you want something that you currently do not have, do something different
- Doing the same thing that you've always done will lead you down the same path you've always been on
- Not all guys are potential knights in shining armor
- Use caution, go out with friends and make sure you aren't alone with a guy until you're sure it's safe
- How to Flirt and be Intimate with a Man by John Rapp © 2009