Whether you’re looking for a woman to build a family with or just a casual girlfriend, the romance always starts with simple flirting. From nonverbal to verbal techniques, there are many things to keep in mind when you approach an attractive woman. And while it’s worth reviewing these strategies, don’t get so bogged down in keep tracking of them that you forget to have fun. After all, your natural sense of fun and a positive attitude is what will ensure a successful relationship, once the flirting phase is over.
Gauge Her Body Language
Before you even approach a woman, take note of her body language. Try to make eye contact with a gaze, but break away after several seconds. If she maintains eye contact or breaks contact only to return to your gaze, there’s a chance she’s interested. You can even give her a slight raise of your eyebrows, and if she returns the gesture, take it as a possible sign of interest. If she gives you little more than a passing glance, you might want to rethink your chances. Once you approach a woman, continue to search for signs of interest. In addition to maintaining eye contact, an interested woman may display a variety of open body cues, such as leaning toward you or even mirroring your posture. An uninterested woman will turn away, attempting to block your advances.
Observe Personal Space
Whether or not the woman seems interested in you, always observe the basic rules of personal space. A person's social zone, which is meant for acquaintances -- which, in this case, is you -- ranges from 4 to 10 feet around the body, according to Cigna Behavioral Health. Only enter a person's personal zone, which ranges from 4 feet to 18 inches, when invited. Even when you do so, look for signs of discomfort, which signal that you should back up. An invitation into a person's intimate zone, which is 18 inches or closer to the body -- is a goal for later.
Listen and Recall
Don’t get so wrapped up in talking about yourself that you forget to listen. When she volunteers information, whether it’s about what she’s wearing, what book she’s reading, or what she does at her job, keep that knowledge in the back of your head. A little later in the conversation, you can use that information to make a joke or connection with the current topic. She might be flattered, or even surprised, to find that you’ve been hanging onto her every word. If you remember minute details, the more likely you are to impress her.
Whether your humor takes the form of playful teasing or silly observations, aim to reveal your playful side. A study by Nicolas Gueguen, as reported in the August 2010 issue of “Psychological Reports,” reveals what many people consider common knowledge: women respond positively to humor. Women often rated humorous men as not only more attractive, but also more intelligent than the more serious types. If you don't consider yourself a funny person, spend some time watching comedians do their work, or exercise your creative muscles by doing some creative writing or improv activities with friends.
Reserve Your Smile
While there are plenty of women out there who love a nice smile, try not to overdo it. A constant grin can make you seem insincere. In addition, a 2011 study by the University of British Columbia showed photos of men who had facial expressions that showed happiness, pride or shame revealed that women participants actually ranked smiling men less sexually attractive than "than swaggering or brooding men," the study reports, adding that this helps "explain the enduring allure of 'bad boys' and other enduring iconic types." With that said, reserve your smiles for when you really happy, rather than forcing a smile just so you seem approachable.
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