How to Forget a Lover Who Doesn't Love You

How to Forget a Lover Who Doesn't Love You

by Karan Robinson

About Karan Robinson

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Karan Robinson began writing since1997 for "The Charlotte Observer." She writes a bi-weekly column for her community newspaper, the "Enquirer-Herald." Robinson holds a Bachelor of Arts in mass communication and a Master of Liberal Arts from Winthrop University.

If you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, you need to put the relationship behind you and move on. This should happen quickly; if you stay in a one-sided relationship, you're shortchanging yourself and missing out on the opportunity to find someone who will truly love and appreciate you. Perhaps you're clinging to the hope that your love will eventually be returned. But if you know deep down it's not going to happen, it's time to make the break and forget about your lover.

Grieve

Grieve for your loss. Even if the relationship wasn't ideal, it's natural to miss the companionship or camaraderie with that other person, so go ahead and acknowledge it. Remember that grieving is a normal stepping stone to healing.

Stay active. Now is not the time to be alone. Ask your friends to go for a run or take a walk around the mall with your sister. Take up bowling, which is a great way to work off energy. You don't have to run a marathon, but if you stay active you'll feel better.

Talk about the decision you made to move on with your life. Your best friend knows better than anyone what a catch you are and can lend a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen as you rant, rave and cry. It's OK to get it out because the pain will pass and you can look forward to laughing again soon.

Get out of that rut by exploring new hobbies and interests. Create new traditions. This signifies you're not living in the past and that you have a bright future ahead. Take up golfing, learn a new language or meet your brother at the coffee shop every Wednesday afternoon.

Nurture yourself with a small treat or reward each day. Take a hot bubble bath, make time to read a book or listen to your favorite song. Look forward to a hot cup of tea or a piece of dark chocolate at the end of the day. Don't forget to tell yourself that you're a good and worthy person. Say it out loud or make up a song and sing it to yourself; you may just find yourself laughing at your own antics, which is bound to make you feel better.

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Tip

  • Remember, it's normal to feel sad, angry and lonely after a breakup, but if you feel overwhelmed and depressed speak with your doctor, a counselor or a minister.

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