Although many women want to have the picture perfect relationship, there are times when their men cheat. Rather than taking their anger out on their man, some women want to lash out against the other woman. It hurts to know that you’ve been cheated on and sometimes knowing other details of the affair can really make you want revenge or cause you to harbor feelings of ill will towards the other woman. Here are some ways to forgive and move on.
Items you will need
- Knowledge of the situation
- The will to forgive
Forgiving the Other Woman
Understand that he probably lied to her just like he lied to you. Taking your anger out on the other woman isn’t going to solve anything. It’s normal to be upset but for the most part you should be mad at him for lying and cheating. If your man knew how to cover his tracks well, there is a chance she didn’t even know about you and maybe she thought she was his only woman. Some people are good at leading a double life so if you believed his lies, there’s a good chance that she did too.
Accept the fact that relationships don’t always work for various reasons. You can’t control anyone’s actions except your own. Rather than trying to get revenge or hold grudges against the other woman, be a bigger person and decide to move on. Harboring negative feelings towards her isn’t going to solve anything. Deciding to fight her or trying to get revenge against her could land you in legal trouble so it’s better to let it go.
If you choose to forgive the guy and give him another chance, don’t let him place the blame on her. Even if she came on to him first, he could’ve said no. Make him own up to his mistakes and deal with the problems between the two of you, not the other woman. If he has cut ties with her then there is no reason you should still hold negative feelings towards her. Remember, she wasn’t the only one involved. In order to move on and rebuild your relationship, you will have to let go of the negative feelings about the affair, although it will still hurt.
Relationships take a lot of work. If you’re willing to work on staying together, there will be things that you have to discuss and overcome. The other woman may have damaged your relationship but that doesn’t mean the relationship is destroyed if you want to make it work. She is going to move on with her life and you should do the same. In the event that the other woman has became pregnant during their interaction, you will have to decide whether you think the relationship can be saved and if so, most likely you and your guy will need some counseling to help you learn how to cope with the new situation.
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- Know that forgiving the other woman doesn’t mean that you condone what she has done. You don’t have to be friends with her or ever have any words between the two of you. Forgiveness is more for yourself than it is for the other person. It will lighten your load if you are able to release any negative feelings towards her.
- Never act out in anger and go approach the other woman. You may think your actions will be justified but it will just make the situation worse. Besides, there’s no need to fight her because she didn’t cheat on you--he did.