How to Get a Friend to Like You More Than a Friend

by Contributor

If anyone knows how to get a friend to like you more than a friend then it would be me. My first day of college in 2001 I met a girl. She and I became friends. We hung out, chatted, went to parties together. Of course it was rarely just her and I. We were always around a group of friends. People joked us and had bets whether we would hook up. Around 1 1/2 years after meeting her I realized I had feelings for her. I too asked the question, how to get a friend to like you more than a friend. I went for it and asked her to date me. We got married in 2005! Check out the steps I took to get there. (I posted some links in the Resources section if you want to read more ways to attract and even seduce your friend)

The First Impression - Assuming this is a current friend of yours then you already made your first impression a while ago. Think back to that day. Was she into you? When I met my girl I was just chilling on a bench and she walked up to me, asked to sit down then she started the conversation. Clearly she was into me. This could be a sign for you.

Make Her Friends Love You - Girls love competition. They compete with one another all the time. They also value their friends opinions. Keep her close, but keep her friends closer. Pour on the good guy mentality but don't make it obvious. The important thing is to not let one of her friends fall for you first. Girls like good, quiet guys - as friends. Be cool and quiet around her friends but when you are alone be outgoing and talkative. When her friends talk about you they will all say "aw I like him he's so nice but he's kind of quiet". Then your girl will say something like "He's not quiet around me (blah blah I feel special now)". Now her friends like you and your girl feels like she knows you better than the other.

It's Not Like the Movies - Chances are you won't get some unexpected fairytale first kiss and make her fall in love with you. Instead you will be nervous and start to act wierd around her. You will also have an urge to spill your guts to her and tell her how much you love her and want to be with her for the rest of her life. Enough with that already. Be cool fool. Chillax and think about this for a second. The best way is slow and smooth. Give her subtle clues and signs you are interested. Let her know how she looks, compliment her. Notice the small details. Most importantly see how she reacts. Every girl reacts a little differently. You have a better chance at reading her than me. Some girls take it as a sincere compliment, others take it as "yeah I know I'm so hot". Then again some girls get defensive, or some may even disagree with you. The point is to drop the hints regardless of how she reacts.

Get the Feedback - Remember how you got nice with her friends? Now is the time to take advantage of that. Talk to one of her friends in secrecy. Let her know you have a crush and were interested in what she thought. Ask her to bring him up in their conversation and report back. Don't worry, girls love playing these games. It's what they live for.

Make the Move - If you have been getting good reactions from your hint dropping and her friend reports back with good news then go for it. Go for it as in bring it up to her. Go for a walk or take her out to ice cream. The point is try to avoid the awkwardness. Let her know you like her and want to try it out. But don't get all mushy, girls only like that after you start dating. If she says no or she needs to think about it let her know that's cool and change subjects. Continue talking like you normally do, don't let her think the friendship is over. If she says yes then there you go. Easy as pie.

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Tip

  • The tips listed in this article were ones of my own personal experience. They worked for me but everyone is different. Read the articles listed in the Resources section below for more great ideas.