Hey all you hopeless romantics out there! Are you in a relationship with someone you're diggin' but not quite so sure if he feels the same way about you? I am not claiming to be an expert on love, but i have had enough lousy break-ups to predict when it looks like the 'end is near'. I don't want to burst anyone's bubble but i think we all have the right to know when we are wasting our precious time and love on someone. So listen up, and you find yourself identifying with the warning signs, get out while you can before your heart is shattered into a million pieces that not even the best super glue can patch up.
Items you will need
- an unclouded mind
- an honest heart
- supportive family and friends
- maybe a little chocolate or a night out with the girl's
- a mix cd of empowering songs for women, you know what I'm talkin about' TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT!
If you want to test your man's interest in you, go a couple days without calling him. If he doesn't call back wondering how your doing or if you are okay chances are he is not the guy for you. When a man really likes you HE WILL KEEP IN TOUCH. Even if he is not a 'big talker' after a while even you strong, silent man will be on the line. You know that even when you are really busy you always have time to sneak in a little 5 minute phone call or quick text; if you can do it there is no reason he can't.
Sit down and compare your peaceful nights vs. night's filled with 'knock down drag out's' (and no I am not actually talking about physical fights if things have gotten that far you need a whole nother type of help that involves hotline or your local authorities)ANYWAY if you find that you are fighting all the time and your man seems to be picking all the fights, BIG WARNING SIGN! Men usually hate verbal screaming matches if they are electing themselves to them that seems strange right? Well i'll tell u the method behind the madness. Sometimes when men are wanting to break up or get out of a relationship they try to make you into the bad guy to clear their conscience. They are hoping by fighting with you or doing things purposely that you cannot stand that you will be so angry or stressed out you will give up on the relationship or put him out of your life for good.
Ask yourself this: Does he make little to no effort on special days and holidays? If he minimizes the importance of an anniversary or time of the year loved ones are supposed to be together, in conversation or actions, that shows that he is not into you like he should be. Even using excuses like he is low on funds is NOT A REAL EXCUSE there are plenty of low-cost gift options like buying you a card and expressing his feelings in it. And gurls i know if you really love a guy it's the thought and effort that counts not the pricetag so there is no excuse for getting you nothing or slapping something together. The man owns a calendar he could have saved up to get you a little something or at least made plans. He knows what day it is. Basically making an excuse not to give someone a sweet gesture is making excuse not to take the time to emotionally connect with you. He is rejecting the affection that you would have for him if he did something nice for you. Because if he did something sweet you would definately want to hug and cuddle after he did something with that. Am I right ladies?
Don't be afraid to read in between the lines. Men are naturally not as communicative as women are. They tend to do speak with their actions or body language more. If he is acting standoffish multiple times in a row, Sending your calls to voicemail, Or cannot make eye contact with you, it is okay to assume that he is has lost interest or could be cheating. Men hope that women will 'take the hint' so that way they will not have to explain their actions. I have often heard men say 'i tried doing this to get rid of her or that to get rid of her bust she just didn't get the hint' I find myself asking them well why weren't you just honest with the girl and they think being disrespectful or blowing you off is honest because actions speak louder than words. They don't always like to get into all the details or try to work a relationship out men usually go with their first initial feeling or gut they don't sit around holding the phone debating whether to call back or not.
Lastly, if you feel like you cannot walk away without giving your man one more chance, go head sit down and talk to him and express what's been bothering you. But before you do give both yourself and him an ultimatum; tell yourself that if he does not commit to fixing his behavior that you will terminate the relationship and look for someone who can make your life easier rather than harder (love is never perfect but it should enhance your life not make it more painful). Also tell him in a non-threatening but firm voice that you need him to do better if he acts sarcastic and shows any signs that he doesn't want to hear what you are saying then consider the relationship over. If someone wants something they will fight to keep it not walk way. He should take loosing you serious if he sees you can't take it anymore. If your man has any hope he will hear you out. You will not have to force him to listen to you or fight to make your voice heard. Do not settle for bad behavior asking him to be nice to you is not changing who he is that is just ridiculous so don't let be his excuse IF THE EXCUSE IRRATIONAL THAT'S BECAUSE !IT IS! No matter how much u rationalize it lol! Anyway act as if you are Donlad Trump and he is the apprentice lol if he wants you love and trust he should have no problem earning it if not FIRE HIS BUTT! Try not to let your emotions get the best of you just this once because unfortunately men can manipulate them to use women for their own desires and some actually think it's amusing (which is sick). I am not bashing men, but I know how emotionally abuse relationships are and I am not naive enough to think that there aren't many out there. Well if your man does happen to say he will try harder make sure he sticks to it. Give him a certain amount of times (not more than 3 is recommended) to mess up and if he doesn't shape up by then let him go. Set specific limits to what you will put up with and don't compromise out of them otherwise you might end up making exception after exception.
Ok girlies I hope this helped you decide whether or not you should stay with someone or not if you were on the fence. Oftentimes women can be really forgiving and let things go we shouldn't because our hearts are sooooooo big. But it's time to get tough so your heart won't be too broken to give to that special someone when you find them. God bless chicas!
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- DO NOT LET SOMEONE SWEET TALK YOU INTO ABUSE. iF YOU ARE GETTING READY TO BREAK UP WITH A MAN AND HE ALL THE SUDDEN ACTS UNUSUALLY NICE THAT MIGHT BE ONLY TO DRAW YOU BACK IN SO THEY CAN USE YOU MORE. AFTER ALL, WHAT WOULD ABUSE BE WITHOUT THE VICTIM. ALSO IF YOU ARE WITH A MAN WHO IS KNOWN OR SUSPECTED TO BE VIOLENT HAVE SOMEONE PRESENT WITH YOU WHEN YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM. DO IT IN A PUBLIC PLACE IF YOU HAVE TO. RELATIONSHIP DOMESTIC ABUSE ENDS IN DEATH FOR MORE THAN 4,000 WOMEN EACH YEAR. HERE IS A LINK ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. ALL THOUGH THIS ARTICLE IS MEANT TO BE FOR LESS EXTREME CASES I AM HOPING THAT WOMEN WHO VIEW IT AND ARE IN DANGER WILL SEE THIS AND GET HELP. YOU ARE NOT ALONE LADIES THERE ARE A MILLION FISH IN THE SEA. AND TO AND CO-DEPENDENT WOMEN THERE ARE MANY ORGANIZATIONS THAT WILL HELP YOU ON YOUR FEET SO DON'T LET ANYONE TRICK YOU INTO THINKING YOU HAVE NO OPTIONS.