Perhaps you pine for your faraway love, write him nearly daily and get giddy when you two get a chance to rack up the phone bill with long distance calls. But a long distance relationship can also be a chore, especially when all your friends are out dating and having fun. You can have a long distance relationship and date other people as long as you are honest and follow a few simple steps.
Call or write your long distance lover and tell him of your plan. A phone call is more intimate but not always possible. Explain how you love him dearly and love your relationship, but you also need to get out and have some fun. This also means, of course, he has the option of doing the same.
Let friends, family and others know you are still in a long distance relationship but you two have agreed to also date other people. This way they can keep their eyes open for compatible dates for you so you don’t end up on a date with Bozo the Clown. This also assures they won’t see you with a new guy and blurt out, “What about Donny in Vegas?”
Be up front with new people you date and let them know you are in a long distance relationship but have agreed to date other people. Some guys may wash their hands of you right there, thinking your heart is already taken. Others will be fine with it, either relieved they don’t have the burden of major commitment or excited they get to try to woo you away from your long distance lover.
Keep your dates with new people focused on the present moment and the new person. Live in the here and now, enjoying the person’s company, not pining for your faraway love. Although you should mention your long distance beau, don’t prattle on about him or keep saying how much you wish he were here. That’s kind of going to turn a new guy off.
Decide if your long distance relationship is worth the agony. If you are wishing to date other people, perhaps the long distance relationship is starting to wane. It’s hard to keep a heart beating full of love across thousands of miles.
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- Don’t feel guilty. You are being up front and honest about the situation and have nothing to hide.
- Don’t write lengthy letters to your long distance guy telling him every intimate details of your dates. He doesn’t want to know. Nor should you be subjected to lengthy descriptions of his outings with new girls he met.
- If this starts to eat you up inside, either because you can’t stop thinking about your long distance love or you can’t stop thinking about your long distance love dating other women, stop the dating of other people.
- Illustration by Ryn Gargulinski