How to Heal After a Breakup

by Contributor

Any breakup is hard, regardless of whether you initiated it or not. You've invested time, energy and love in someone, and now that relationship is gone. While it may seem difficult to imagine, you will heal over time. Everyone heals at different rates, so it's important to allow yourself the time and space to grieve for the lost relationship. While there is no surefire way to recover quickly, there are some things you can do to aid the healing process after a breakup.

Assess the reasons why the relationship didn't work out. You likely feel the need to understand exactly what went wrong in the relationship. Sometimes it's not just one thing that caused the breakup, but rather an accumulation of many things.

Learn from the relationship. Regardless of the reasons for its demise, the relationship can serve as a learning experience. You may discover things that you don't want in your next relationship, as well as things that you would like in the next person you date. If you can learn from the breakup, it often helps you heal and prepares you for your next relationship.

Give yourself time. Healing takes time. Don't expect to get better according to a particular time frame. Let yourself fully heal before you hop back into the dating scene.

Know that it's OK to be sad. You lost an important part of your life, and grieving for that loss is totally natural. Let yourself cry when you feel like you need to. If you bottle up your emotions, it will only take longer to heal.

Talk to your family and friends. Oftentimes, simply talking through your feelings can greatly aid the healing process. If you aren't comfortable talking to anyone in your life, consider a therapist. Sometimes it's helpful to talk to someone who is removed from the situation.

Write in a journal. Describe both the positive and negative feelings you have about your breakup. Oftentimes, writing out your feelings can be a cathartic experience. Make it a daily habit and you'll likely notice you feel better over time.

Stay busy. Keep your life full and the sadness from your break up won't be quite as overwhelming. In addition to work and daily commitments, consider taking up some new hobbies. Whether you join a book club, take a painting class or pursue another venture, you'll be less likely to be depressed if you keep busy.

Get daily exercise. Cardiovascular exercise has a positive effect on your moods and overall well being. Take a walk, go for a bike ride or incorporate some other form of physical activity into your daily life. You'll also feel good about the positive changes you see in your body as a result of the additional exercise.

Do something nice for yourself every day. Whether that's indulging in your favorite coffee drink or treating yourself to a pedicure, do something special for yourself. You'll also feel good if you do something nice for other people. Send a friend a card or bake cookies for your family member. Consider volunteer work.

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Warning

  • Avoid daily contact with your ex. Constant communication can prolong the healing process. Give yourself space to heal on your own.