How to Honor the Christian Perspective on Dating

by S.J. Barnard

About S.J. Barnard

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S.J. Barnard has been a writer since 2005, with work published both in print and online. She previously served as a high school English teacher. Barnard holds K-12 English teaching certification and a Bachelor of Science in biblical studies.

There are many different Christian perspectives on dating. Some Christians believe that dating many different people is a natural and important part of choosing a future mate, but that the activities, particularly sexual activities, a couple participates in while dating should honor God.Others believe that dating should only be done in groups, and serious dating should not happen until a couple is sure they want to get married. Then they should date one-on-one during the engagement.Still other Christians believe in a traditional courtship where a boy courts a girl at her parents' house with their express permission. What is known as modern dating does not really take place during a courtship.And then there are the arranged marriages that some Christians believe are the right way to go. Dating is not a part of the picture at all.These are just a few of the different Christian perspectives on dating. However, if you are a Christian, and you choose to date, here are some ways that you can honor God and your date while enjoying your time together.

How to Honor the Christian Perspective on Dating

Choose to date someone that you are interested in because of who she is and how you believe she will treat you. You should genuinely be interested in her. Don't choose someone because of how good looking she is, how popular she is, or how much money she makes. Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Dating someone for the prestige she has or she can give you doesn't guard your heart or hers.

Date other Christians. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says not to be yoked together with unbelievers. While you may think that dating is casual and won't necessarily lead to marriage, you never know. You may find out that the person you are dating is fabulous and fall in love but, if she is not a Christian, your relationship will be uneven spiritually.

Keep your dates God honoring. Don't go on dates to places or events that you do not think God would want you to attend. This, of course, will be based on your understanding of what God says is okay to do. Some Christians don't see a problem with having drinks at a bar while others don't believe it is God honoring to drink alcohol at all. Some Christians don't have a problem with going to a secular rock concert while others think it is only right to listen to Christian music. To be God honoring, you need to honor your individual beliefs and not compromise them to impress a date.

Keep yourself sexually pure. This is always a difficult one. What exactly does it mean to be sexually pure? Most Christians agree that God has designed sex to be something beautiful to be shared only by a husband and wife. But what about all the stuff that leads up to sex? Where do you draw the line?The Bible says to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Fleeing means to run from, not run towards and see how close you can get without actually touching the goal. To keep yourself sexually pure, many Christians believe that you should not begin engaging in physical activities that will lead you toward the temptation to have sex. For some that even includes kissing. If you know that an act of physical intimacy is going to lead you toward sexual activity, it is probably an act to flee.

Respect your date's wishes. Your ideas of what is God honoring, what is an acceptable activity, or what is permitted physically may different from your date's. Do not try to talk your date into doing something she doesn't think it is right.

Pray. Pray to God to help you meet the right person to date. Pray before you go on a date. Some Christians even choose to start off their date with a prayer together asking that God bless their time together and that they honor God with their actions. It is always good to be in conversation with God about the person you are dating and the dates that you go on.

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Tip

  • Always ask your date if an activity you have planned is okay with her. You don't want to make her uncomfortable by taking her to a place she doesn't consider appropriate.