By 30, you may be feeling as though all of the good single men have already been snatched up. Take heart; it's possible to find Mr. Right at any age. Review your dating history, have faith in yourself, try some new techniques and re-evaluate your attitudes on first dates, and it's more than possible for you to find true love.
Review your dating history, if you've dated before. Which of your relationships went well and which didn't? It may be that you were doing everything right in your good relationships, but your ex just wasn't the right man for you. If so, you don't need to change much about your approach. It can be difficult to get perspective on this on your own, so ask trusted friends and relatives to talk it over with you.
Consider your criteria for "Mr. Right" to decide whether you're being too picky. If you seem to have every aspect of his personality and appearance spelled out, or if you find that trivial disagreements are relationship-enders for you, decide what's absolutely critical for a potential husband and what's just window dressing. However, if something truly is non-negotiable for you, don't sell yourself short just to find a husband, as you may end up with someone who is incompatible.
Remind yourself that you are lovable. If you can't think of yourself as a good catch, you can't expect men to do so. List at least three of your best personal qualities to remind yourself of your strengths. Think of one area where you might need a little improvement, and work on that aspect of yourself. Don't do that until after making your list of positives, because you don't want to risk damaging your self-confidence.
Dress in clothes that flatter your best features and minimize those that are less attractive. Don't despair if you don't look like a supermodel -- few real-life women do, which means that the other women looking for husbands in your area don't look like models, either. Remember that "flattering" doesn't always mean "revealing," as skimpy clothes might send the message that you're looking for a hookup instead of a husband.
Try meeting men in new places. Get involved in your place of worship or volunteer for causes that excite you to meet men who share your values. Join groups and clubs revolving around your hobbies to meet men with similar interests. Consider online dating or singles events if you haven't already tried them.
Strike up conversations with attractive men you meet, either in activities that you joined specifically to find a husband or in chance encounters in day-to-day life. The worst that can happen is that he won't be interested.
Think of talking to men as getting to know them rather than feeling out their husband potential. If you look at every encounter as the make-or-break moment where you may meet Mr. Right, you'll not only be setting yourself up for disappointment but also running the risk of seeming desperate. If you find out that a man isn't a keeper, it's much easier to brush yourself off and move on to the next possibility if you weren't mentally picking out the china patterns.
Stay positive on first dates. Don't complain about exes or about how much you hate being single; the former will make you sound as though you come with too much baggage, and the latter will make you sound desperate.
Go slow in taking things physically. Again, you're looking for a long-term relationship, not a fling. Keeping the brakes on is a way to assess whether your date has the same priorities.
Pursue other interests while you look for a husband. Don't forget about your hobbies, your career and your friends. Having a life outside of dating will help you to keep a perspective if a relationship goes badly.
View Singles Near You
- "The Thrill of the Chaste"; Dawn Eden; 2006.
- CBS News; Landing Mr. Right After Age 35; Tatiana Morales; 2004.
- "Happen" Magazine; Dating Over 50: The New Rules; Beatty Cohan.
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