What Kind of Man Does it Take to Love a Widow?

What Kind of Man Does it Take to Love a Widow?

by Ann Mazzaferro

About Ann Mazzaferro

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Hailing from California, Ann Mazzaferro is a professional writer who has written for "The Pacifican," "Calliope Literary Magazine" and presented at the National Undergraduate Literature Conference. Mazzaferro graduated magna cum laude with a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of the Pacific.

Dating and relationships can be difficult for widows. Having spent an extended period of time committed to one person, widows may feel that the dating world is a strange and unfamiliar place. Finding a new partner can be frustrating, especially if you are constantly faced with dates who beat a hasty retreat after finding out about your previous life. Finding love after widowhood takes finding a man of many outstanding qualities.

Patient

Losing a partner is a devastating experience, and everyone will work through their grief at a different pace. The memories of your life with your previous partner may remain fresh for the rest of your life, and at times you may feel overwhelmed by feelings of loss, anger and sadness. It is important when seeking a new relationship to find a man with an abundance of patience. The ideal mate for a widow is a man who will give you plenty of breathing room and space to work through your grief, one who will not rush you into intimacy or marriage.

Respectful

Before entering a serious relationship with a new man, look at how he treats his friends and family. Does he recognize and observe their emotional and physical boundaries? Is he constantly trying to one-up or outdo those around him? In discussions does he allow everyone the freedom of their opinions, or does he try to convince them that his is the only right way? You will need a partner who can respect your previous marriage without downplaying it or attempting to change your opinion. He must respect your previous life and not ask you to abandon your memories or emotions. Rushing into physical intimacy can lead to heartbreak, so be firm with your physical boundaries and do not stay with a man who refuses to respect them.

Confident

It takes an especially confident man with a deep sense of self to date a widow. The less confident a partner is in what he can offer a relationship, the faster he will start comparing himself to your previous partner in his own mind. Painful arguments and bitter words will flare up if all your new partner can do is argue about who was wealthier, funnier or smarter. Look for a man who is not easily swayed by trends or gossip and possesses a clear vision of who he is and what it is he wants out of life. A confident man will build a new life with you that honors both of your pasts and opens you both up to new and exciting possibilities.

Responsible

For widows who have lost their husbands unexpectedly to illness or accidents, trust may be a major issue in a new relationship. Having the rug pulled out from under you may inculcate fear of abandonment or other anxieties. Surrounding yourself with responsible people, including a responsible romantic partner, is an important step in restoring your own sense of well-being. Choose a partner who will be on time to dates and appointments and keeps his commitments. Someone who is careless or neglectful will leave you feeling even lonelier and sadder than before you began to date. A partner who is responsible and trustworthy will not make you needlessly worry; he will help you rebuild your trust and confidence.

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