How to Leave a Man Who Won't Commit

How to Leave a Man Who Won't Commit

by Kate Taylor

About Kate Taylor

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Kate Taylor is a professional writer based in Lafayette, Ind. She has served as an online copywriter in areas such as pet care, education and landscaping. Taylor is working toward her M.B.A. at Loyola University Chicago.

Many women struggle to get their man to commit to them, whether it be through a marriage proposal, moving in together or simply agreeing to be in an exclusive relationship. It can be very tempting to stick around and see if things ever change between the two of you. Eventually, however, you must build up enough confidence in yourself to move on and find a man who is willing and able to give you the kind of relationship that you want.

Step 1

Accept that breaking up is the best move for both you and your man. Go To See, a health and therapy guide, states that putting pressure on your boyfriend to commit to you will almost always push him farther away. This will likely cause you to feel rejected and heartbroken, and may cause him to feel resentful and guilty about something he wasn't ready for. Accept that moving on will allow you to search for the kind of committed relationship you want elsewhere, while allowing the man you care about to grow and mature at his own pace.

Step 2

Trust yourself and the reasons you need to leave your boyfriend. Your boyfriend may try to convince you that the end of the relationship was your fault because you couldn't deal with him not being ready for commitment. Remind yourself, however, that commitment is something that you value. Become confident in your reasons for breaking up with him by speaking to friends, family members or a counselor about your decision before you break the news to him.

Step 3

Communicate with him about the way you are feeling. Let him know why a commitment is so important to you, what it means to you to be committed to someone and why you can't stay with him because of his lack of commitment. Make sure that you make it very clear that you do not want to have any type of relationship with him besides a committed one. Remember that friendships also involve commitment and, if you both feel ready to commit to being there for one another as friends, that type of relationship is a viable option.

Step 4

Spend more time with your friends and family and enjoy the commitment you share with those people in your life. Go out and meet new people. Always communicate with new potential partners about how much you value commitment and let them know that it has caused issues in your past. This honesty will help you find someone who shares the same goals and desires for a relationship as you do.

Step 5

Commit to being done with your past relationship. Don't accept phone calls or go out on dates with your ex-boyfriend. Make a commitment to yourself to focus on the things that are most important to you. Work hard to get yourself back up on your own two feet. Develop an independent lifestyle that you can maintain on your own.

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Tip

  • Learn from your previous relationship, as well as the break up. Recognize the patterns that a man who doesn't want to commit demonstrates. Watch out for those patterns when you are meeting new people in order to help ensure that you don't end up in the same type of relationship you just left.

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