When a relationship simply isn't working, there sometimes isn't any other choice but to terminate it. Still, that doesn't make it easy. Breaking up can be one of the most emotionally stressful, devastating and exhausting experiences in life. When you're in the middle of a big breakup, you might find yourself feeling like you will never be happy again. However, it is important to remember that you can live through this and even, perhaps, come out of it a better person.
Take it a day at a time. When you're in the midst of a breakup, you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed and wondering how you are going to get through the rest of your life without this one person. However, the first step to healing often is understanding that to survive something, you need to just concentrate on the day you are presently living instead of looking toward the future. Avoid thoughts of tomorrow, next week or next year. Simply focus on what you need to do to get through the "now" intact.
Eliminate any communication. When you are hurting from a breakup, the most therapeutic thing you can do is cease communication with the other person, at least temporarily. Get your mind off of your ex in order to heal as painlessly as possible. If you keep communication, you run the risk of stirring up feelings and emotions again. Take your ex's phone number out of your cell phone. Remove his name from your "buddy lists" on any chat services you use. Remove any temptation you may have to contact him, at least until you are emotionally ready and strong enough to handle it.
Acknowledge the bad things. Breakups don't just come out of nowhere. Something must have triggered the breakup, whether it was infidelity, different interests or intense arguing. To live through a breakup, remember what caused the situation to occur in the first place. The relationship obviously wasn't perfect. Then, realize that there is someone much better suited for you. There are many fish in the sea, and there is no use crying over someone with whom you are simply not compatible.
Vent. A healthy way to make it out of a tough breakup is by venting and confiding in people you trust and value, such as family members and close friends. Give yourself a certain time period to let out all of your bottled-up emotions and feelings about your breakup. Just make sure that it is not excessive, and put a time restriction on it -- you don't want to wallow in your misery forever, after all. Talk to others who have experienced a similar type of breakup, and remember that you are not alone. Sometimes, breaking up is just a normal (albeit unpleasant) aspect of being alive.
Work on yourself. Breakups are transitional periods in life that invite change and improvement. Use this time to better yourself. Start toning your body and getting healthy by engaging in regular workouts at the gym. Sign up for cooking classes at your local culinary school. Pursue a master's degree. Apart from enhancing your life, increased activities will raise your confidence and keep you busy, allowing you less time to feel sorry for yourself about the breakup.
Get spiritual. Spirituality can increase feelings of calmness and give you a sense of purpose in life. If you feel lost after a breakup, tap into your spiritual side, whether you want to start practicing meditation or yoga or whether you want to visit a church. Establish a connection with yourself. Connecting with yourself and your life can help you to soothe feelings of anxiety, nervousness, confusion and loss, all of which are often associated with breakups.
View Singles Near You
- Be positive and visualize a happy ending for your future. Think about moving forward and having success, and remember that if you lose positivity and the will to thrive and change, you are only harming yourself. Do not give your breakup (and your ex) the power to change your life for the worse.
- Campus Circle; Top 10 Ways to Survive a Breakup; January 2011
- iVillage; Get Over Him: Eight Tips for Surviving a Breakup; Ilana Arazie; January 1999
- Lifted Magazine; 10 Tips to Help Get Through a Break Up; Chris Causey
- Help Guide; Coping With a Breakup or Divorce; Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., et al.; November 2010
- Jupiterimages/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images