How to Make Your Lover Be Your Dominant Lover

by Joe Burnham

About Joe Burnham

author image

Joe Burnham has been a writer since 2008, working with British magazines such as "NME." His articles have been featured in "The Independent" newspaper, London's "Time Out" magazine and "York Vision," where he served as editor-in-chief. Burnham holds a Bachelor of Arts in politics and international relations from the University of York.

How to Make Your Lover Be Your Dominant Lover

The type of intimacy within a relationship will always depend on the individual couple, and a wide range of lifestyles and options exist for experiencing it. While it may not be typical, there are many couples who have developed an emotionally rewarding partnership by integrating dominant and submissive roles into their relationship. Although this may appeal to you, you should approach the issue with care when bringing up the subject with your partner.

Step 1

Don’t feel ashamed or guilty about your desires. Dominant and submissive relationships have existed throughout history, and this wouldn’t be the case if they weren’t suitable for a large number of people. Although these feelings may be inconvenient within your current relationship, it’s most healthy to accept your emotional and intimate needs.

Step 2

Hint your feelings to your partner; this can be done in a light-hearted way, such as joking about how you enjoy him acting authoritative within an intimate context, or expressing an interest in erotic materials within the dominant and submissive genre. Your partner may be more open-minded than you expected, and may gradually start to change his behavior as he picks up on your signals.

Step 3

Plan to talk to your partner about the subject. Although hinting may make your partner more open to the topic, it will usually be necessary to specifically outline what type of dominance you’d like to receive. This is especially true if you’d like to integrate your submissive and dominant roles throughout the relationship, rather than restricting them to the bedroom.

Step 4

Prepare what you want to say. Decide what your ideal relationship dynamic would be, and how possible it would be to achieve. It’s important that you feel assured about your desires, as this will help you express yourself accurately to your partner.

Step 5

Express your desires to your partner. Don’t put her under pressure; remember that what you’re saying may come as a surprise, so it’s important you don’t create any additional stress or worry. Don’t give your partner any ultimatums, as this will further complicate the conversation.

Step 6

Give your partner time to think about what you’ve discussed; it’s important that he doesn’t agree to anything before he’s properly comfortable with it.

Step 7

Take things slow. Although it may be tempting to jump into a submissive role immediately, you should still aim to gradually introduce it into your relationship. This will allow communication to stay open, avoiding unnecessary problems or misunderstandings.

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