The nice thing about online dating is that it allows you to get to know a potential date from the comfort and safety of your own home. After you have been emailing or messaging someone for a while, though, you may be ready to take the relationship to the next level--the phone. For online daters, this is an important step as it can often lead to a face-to-face meeting. The problem is knowing how and when to make that transition from the Internet to the telephone.
Wait until the time is right. Some people like to keep things online for a long time while others prefer to move quickly to the phone. It doesn't matter when you make the transition, as long as you are comfortable with the idea of talking to your potential date on the phone. If he makes you uneasy for any reason or you would just rather get to know him better online, then hold off on moving to the phone.
Suggest a phone call. If you are ready to move to the phone, you will have to determine if your potential date is ready, too. A simple, "Maybe I could call you sometime," should be enough to test the waters. If you sense any hesitation, drop the issue until another time. If you come on too strong, you may seem pushy.
Be cautious. If someone you are talking to online asks you for your number, only give out your cell phone number, if possible. Remember that your home phone number can be used to track down your address. Likewise, only use your cell phone to call a potential date, as many people have caller ID.
Prepare yourself. If your purpose in moving to the phone is to get to know your potential date better, it is a good idea to have a list of things to talk about. This can help during those awkward moments of silence that often are a part of first conversations. If, on the other hand, you simply want to use the phone to arrange a date, have your plans firmly in place so that you don't go back and forth with, "I don't know. What do you want to do?"
Eliminate distractions. Since the first phone call can be a turning point in your relationship, try to keep it free of distractions or interruptions. This will make the conversation more relaxing for you and the other person.
Be considerate. When you move from the Internet to the phone, remember that you are making a first impression--again. Ask plenty of thoughtful questions of your potential date and be careful not to dominate the entire conversation. A little consideration can go a long way toward making a good impression on the phone.
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- Avoid heavy topics like politics or religion, as a pleasant and upbeat conversation will be more enjoyable for both of you.
- Keep the first conversation brief so you don't run out of things to say and so you also leave him or her wanting more.