How to Not Be a Jealous Women

How to Not Be a Jealous Women

by Lars Tramilton

About Lars Tramilton

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Lars Tramilton has been writing professionally since 2007. His work has appeared in a variety of online publications, including CareerWorkstation. Tramilton received a bachelor's degree with a focus on elementary education from Kean University.

Most women (and men, too) occasionally experience some feelings of jealousy, whether triggered by a significant other flirting with an attractive stranger or feelings of inadequacy compared to a successful peer. Although a small amount of jealousy can often be normal, in excess, it can be absolutely destructive and detrimental to your life. Learn how to control the green-eyed monster in you -- or better yet, eliminate it completely.

Work on your confidence. Jealousy is rooted in feelings of insecurity and low self-confidence. The better you feel about yourself, the less you will worry about how you compare to other people. Focus on your strong points, and think about how to accentuate those. Then, analyze all of your weaknesses and figure out how to work with them. Remember that even people you envy have flaws, including some that you might not have yourself.

Determine whether your feelings of jealousy are warranted. Jealousy can make people think irrational thoughts. If you are jealous of a woman whom your boyfriend is talking to, take a moment to step back and analyze the situation objectively. Ask yourself if you are simply jealous of the fact that she is a woman, or if you truly believe that your boyfriend is engaging in deceitful and dishonest behaviors behind your back. Determine whether or not you have a valid reason to feel the way that you do.

Face your biggest fears. A lot of jealousy is triggered by fears in life. If you do not identify what scares you the most, you will not be able to stop feeling jealousy. Some examples of common fears include fear of abandonment, fear of humiliation, fear of being alone and fear of feeling stupid. The better you understand your mind, the easier it will be for you to plow forward.

Be your own person. If you are in a relationship with someone and find that you are always jealous of his interactions with other women, it could be due to the fact that all of your life is invested in the relationship. In order for a relationship to thrive, it is important for both parties to not suffocate each other and to have individual interests. Work on your own life, and be independent. Your entire life doesn't have to be 100 percent about your relationship. Meet new friends. Start new hobbies. Participate in fulfilling activities, and enrich yourself as a person.

Talk to others. Keeping big emotions bottled up inside is unhealthy and can lead to feelings intensifying. Whether you need to vent to your closest friends about how you feel or open up to your boyfriend about your concerns and worries, do it. Jealousy will not go away on its own. Confide in others. When you vocalize your worries and fears, it may become more and more apparent to you that they are simply that -- worries and fears -- rather than anything tangible and truly problematic.

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Tip

  • Remember that everyone occasionally feels insecure. No one feels 100 percent perfect all of the time, so there is no reason to be jealous of anyone. Everyone is different and has their own set of problems.

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