Dating etiquette has evolved over time, particularly since the birth of the Internet and the evolution of technology. Just because Internet dating, speed dating and text messaging are available to aid your dating needs does not mean that you have to use them. They are not necessarily better methods than the more traditional means of dating and courtship. Some dating practices are as relevant today as they were decades ago.
Men Should Ask
Men traditionally have been the ones to ask women out, rather than the other way around. Although modern women are confident to ask men out, plenty are still happy to be asked. If you're a man, you could always start with a phone call for a chat first. If the call goes well, you might find it easier to ask the lady out on a date at the end. If you're a woman, make it easier for the man and let him know that you like him.
If you want to keep your date on a more time-honored path, don't take your date paint-balling, zorbing or to a theme park. Fifty or more years ago, dates would have involved dinner, watching a film or going to the theater, or going for a short stroll around the neighborhood or a local scenic spot. Remember that dates don't just have to take place in the evening. You could, for example, ask your date to join you for afternoon tea in an old-style cafe one weekend.
In 2011, it has become common for a couple to meet somewhere neutral before their date. A timeless dating tip is for the man to offer to give his date a lift and to come up to the front door to ask for her when he arrives. Even if she does not accept, most women will see it as a kind gesture.
Showing your date that you have good manners and that you respect her go as far in today's society as they did in the past. Hold a conversation with her parents or friends when you are waiting for her to get ready, give her your full attention when she speaks, and say please and thank you to her and others, such as the waiter in the restaurant. Hold doors open for her if you can, but be discreet and don't make a show of it.
Men Should Pay
Men always paid for the activities of a date in the past, and although many women would not expect it today, they would still appreciate the gesture. Avoid having a big discussion about who is going to pay, and don't make your date feel awkward about the fact that she is not paying. With a smile, tell her that as you invited her out, it is only right that you pay. If she still insists, let her pay half and don't make a big deal out of it.
Conventional dating means that going on a date will be a date only. Particularly on a first date, there should be no expectation of kissing or going back to someone's house. Taking this genteel approach can be refreshing for a woman who might prefer that things go slowly. Nevertheless, it's still important to let your date know how you feel. If the date is going well, perhaps hold her hand toward the end of the date and give her a kiss on her cheek to say goodbye.
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- "Of Knights and Fair Maidens: A Radical New Way to Develop Old-fashioned Relationships"; Jeffrey L. Myers; 1996
- Dating Rules: Traditional Dating Rules, Dating Etiquette and Happy Marriages ... Is There a Link?
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