When you break up with your significant other or with your spouse, it can be very difficult to get over the sadness, anger, resentment, longing and stress that can follow for some people. However, all of these emotions can be magnified when the breakup involves children. In this case, your focus needs to be on helping the children cope with the breakup while still working toward getting over it yourself, particularly if you are dealing with a divorce.
Get support. When getting over your breakup, you need adult support, not support from your children. Friends, family members or a support group can help you cope so that you can help your children cope.
Tell your children, in an age-appropriate way, why you broke up with your ex. This will help you get over it and help your children understand.
Keep a routine. This helps you and your children. Something as small as a set dinner time or morning routine can make coping easier.
Communicate with your ex directly when necessary. Do not send your child to be the messenger.
Be civil toward your ex. No matter how you're feeling, you and your ex need to get along with each other for your children's sakes.
Avoid saying negative things about your ex. He is still your child's parent, and saying bad things about him can confuse, sadden, anger or upset your child. Being negative toward your ex will also prevent you from moving on.
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