How to Prepare for Rejection in Dating

by Michelle Bolyn

About Michelle Bolyn

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Michelle Bolyn is a licensed mental health professional and has worked since 2006 as a therapist. Bolyn has been writing mental health, wedding-related and relationship focused articles since 2007. She is published on Suite101.com and Examiner.com. Bolyn received her master's degree in social work from New York University.

When you're putting yourself out there and looking for a relationship, you have to prepare yourself for possible rejection. Almost everyone gets rejected when they're trying to find the right partner. Rejections happen for many different reasons; however, many people take rejections very personally. Someone could say "no" when you ask them out because she has a boyfriend, just got out of a relationship and isn't ready, is just visiting the area or is a single parent with a lot of responsibilities. It's not necessarily due to your looks or personality.

Avoid rejection whenever you can. Don't ask a man out if you know he's dating someone else. Don't come on to a woman when you've had too much to drink. You need to look your best when you approach someone to ask her out, and you need to be confident. One of the major turnoffs for men and women is a lack of confidence.

Know that rejection is a possibility. If you don't know the person very well, you don't know what's going on in his life. He may not be looking to date anyone at the time. Even if you do know the person, rejection could happen.

Have a plan of how you're going to handle rejection before you approach someone. For example, if you buy a woman a drink, start talking to her and ask her out and she says "no," you could say, "Well, it was nice meeting you and I hope you enjoy your martini. Have a great night." Don't throw a fit or ask her why she accepted your drink. Be gracious, because you never know who's watching and listening. Your next date could be one of her friends.

Get back out there as soon as you experience rejection. If you're out with your friends and a man says "no" when you ask him out, make it a point to at least talk to one other guy. If you let yourself wait too long, you might become too anxious.

Reward yourself for rejection. It might seem silly, but it means that you're making an effort. Buy a new pair of shoes, go see a movie with a friend or purchase that new cell phone you've been eyeing.

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Tip

  • Continually do things to feel better about yourself and gain confidence. Take care of yourself by eating healthy foods and exercising. Confidence is sexy and it will help you get over rejection.