Psychological Reasons Why Women Have Affairs With Married Men

Psychological Reasons Why Women Have Affairs With Married Men

by Dawn Sutton

About Dawn Sutton

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Dawn Sutton began her writing career in 2004 with an article on Internet counseling for a psychology journal. She writes numerous Internet articles on a variety of subjects including health, travel, education, crafts and much more. Sutton has published the books "The Manual" and "God's Girl" and numerous feature film scripts. She has a master's degree in social work from the University of Toronto.

Women have affairs with married men for a variety of psychological reasons. Some women find it feeds their egos, whereas others are excited by the risk. Still other women enjoy the sex or the challenge involved. Unfortunately, when a woman deceives another woman, she is actually perpetuating mistrust among women in general. Few men leave their wives for the girlfriend, and even when they do, the woman is unsure if she can trust him with other women.

Self-Esteem and a Sense of Power

According to Susan Sheppard, founder of Getting What You Want, a life and relationship coaching organization, one of the psychological reasons that women become involved with married men is to enhance their self-esteem and for a sense of power. Some women believe that it means they are attractive if they can steal a man's affection from his wife and that they are powerful to be able to take someone else's man. The truth is, however, that if a woman feels good about herself, she would seek out a man that is truly and solely available to her.

Married Men Make Fewer Demands

Many single women, who are focused on their careers, may prefer a married man because they may impose fewer demands on them than a boyfriend or live-in partner. Some women are not ready to get married or may not be ready to commit to having children. In that sense, they may believe that they can have love and romance and sex without any real commitments.

Maturity and Financial Security

Many women believe that married men are generally mature and more experienced in relationships than single men. They equate experience with understanding women better and therefore being able to provide emotional support. Another psychological reason for women to get involved with a married man is the perception that a married man is more financially secure and that if he can manage his family's finances, he can provide for her as well.

Low Self-Esteem and Fear of Commitment or Intimacy

According to Victoria L. Rayner, author of "The Survival Guide for Today's Career Woman," some single women have affairs with married men because they are afraid of committing to an intimate, long-term relationship. If they seek out someone who is ultimately unattainable, then they are usually setting themselves up for rejection and loss and, therefore, do not have to commit to an intimate, successful relationship. Women with low self-esteem often don't believe, deep down, that they really deserve a the full attention of a good man, which means settling for whatever love and affection they can get.

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