Even the idea of dating can be overwhelming to many single or recently divorced individuals. Finding, approaching and getting to know someone often feels like a complicated, impossible task. However, if you deal with your fear of rejection and practice your social skills, you can turn dating into a fun experience.
Many people are familiar with the advice of meeting potential dates at work, school or bars. However, the best place to meet others is often a stress-free zone where you are enjoying yourself. Meet others at the park, beach, gym, comedy club, coffee shop, bowling alley or arcade. You can even meet others while you're doing chores, such as dropping off dry cleaning or shopping for groceries. Allow casual relationships to form organically. Smile, wave and make eye contact with people you see in your usual hangouts. When you feel comfortable, introduce yourself and start a conversation. If you already have a history with someone, even if it is just passing each other at the grocery store, it is easier to start a conversation.
When approaching a potential love interest, one of the most important techniques is to avoid coming across as creepy. No one likes a creepy person who asks questions that are too personal or makes odd comments about a person's appearance. Being creepy involves body language, which can affect people much more than the things you actually say. Avoid staring or acting angry and don't mention anything people associate with creepiness, such as a love of taxidermy.
Some people get so worried about impressing their date and selecting an appropriate location that they forget the purpose of dating. Dating allows you to "try on" potential partners. When evaluating someone as a potential significant other, choose people who are happy with their life and themselves. Avoid people who hate their jobs and friends and lack excitement about their future. If you are building a future with someone, you want a person who looks forward to your future together.
As dating continues, people often enter the early stages of a relationship. At this critical stage, it is important to avoid neediness at all costs. Needy people, those who constantly require affection, reassurance, time or energy, often turn off and drain people looking for a traditional, healthy relationship. Do not constantly ask for compliments or insult yourself in front of your date. If someone takes their time returning your call, avoid pestering them with a barrage of emails or phone calls. This signifies neediness, which annoys many people.
Consider allowing a close friend to set you up on a blind date. Friends serve as excellent matchmakers because they know you. Sometimes they understand your wants, desires and faults that you may avoid admitting to yourself. When you meet a date through a friend, you automatically have something in common. Talking about how you met the friend helps break the ice and lowers the chance of awkward silence.
Removing Your Fear
Many people subconsciously fear commitment or rejection. These fears can show up during dates, causing another person to doubt your value as a partner. Think about your fears and determine what is at the root of your fears. Are you afraid of commitment because you don't want to be trapped in a loveless marriage? Look at ways to dissolve your fear, such as talking with couples who are happily married. If you can't sort through issues on your own, consider talking to a friend or mental health professional about these problems.
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