How to Recover From a Marriage Breakup

by Laura Nowak

About Laura Nowak

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Laura Nowak is a freelance writer who combines her love of travel and research to write travel articles. She has been published in various print and online publications, including the "Western Herald," where she wrote arts and entertainment articles. Nowak earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in practical writing from Western Michigan University.

No matter if your marriage ends suddenly or if you and your spouse have been arguing for months, the split is going to hurt. Besides dealing with the emotions, you will have to deal with new stresses, such as establishing new routines and finances, deciding who keeps the house and determining the custody of the children. This is enough to overwhelm you, so allow yourself time to heal from your divorce.

Allow yourself time to grieve for the relationship. Expect that you will feel a roller coaster of feelings, ranging from nostalgia for the good times to anger, sadness and frustration over the loss of the marriage. Allow yourself to work through these emotions, knowing they will not be permanent.

Grieve for the broken dreams you created together, accepting that they will not be attained together.

Talk to someone about your feelings, be it a trusted friend who's been through a divorce or a therapist. Discuss why you married your former partner, and see if relationship issues occurred from the start that could have been avoided because of insecurities or other reasons that you may need to explore. Analyze what went wrong in the relationship, so you can better understand it and avoid making the same mistake in a future relationship.

Join a support group, where you can make new friends and support each other as you go through the divorce. Listen to each other's problems and offer advice.

Avoid contact with your ex, if possible. Before you can think about establishing a friendship with your ex, cut ties for at least six months to allow yourself to grieve and rebuild a relationship based on friendship and the best interests of the children.

Forgive both yourself and your ex in order to completely heal. Realize that you both made mistakes and played a part in the marriage ending, but you tried your best. By granting forgiveness, you'll both feel some peace.

Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Eat healthily and stick to your regular fitness routine, as it will help to decrease stress. Pamper yourself by soaking in a hot bath or booking a massage.

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Tip

  • Take care of yourself before helping your children. They need you in a good mental state.