How to Revive a Dying Relationship

How to Revive a Dying Relationship

by Candice Coleman

About Candice Coleman

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Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

The fire in your relationship is beginning to dwindle -- but that does not mean that it has to burn out. In some cases, embracing new hobbies or learning to resolve conflicts in a peaceful, safe way can be enough to revive a dying relationship. Other couples may see a relationship come back from the brink by learning to forgive.

Handling Conflict

Couples may fall into the trap of trying to resolve conflict in the heat of the moment, when they may be more likely to say things that they will later regret. Screaming, name-calling and assigning blame can also contribute to the death of a relationship. Instead, holding discussions when each of you are calm and keeping the focus on solving the problem, rather than on being right, can go a long way, according to Psych Central associate editor Marta Tartakovsky in the article "How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship." Actively listening to your partner's side of things, and working together to create a resolution for each of you, may yield a more closely bonded relationship in the future.

Spending Time Together

Boredom can spell a death sentence for any relationship. If a rut is leaving one or both of you frustrated with the relationship, seeking out new interests can bring the spark back. Taking a cooking class, enjoying a board-game night or checking out local events, like festivals, carnivals or book clubs can help you find a passion you both enjoy, according to the TwoofUs.org article "10 Things You Can Do to Have a Healthy Marriage." Spending too little time together can also contribute to a dying relationship. Regularly scheduling time to spend together, and dropping other obligations if necessary, can improve the situation.

Helping Out

Imbalances in giving can also lead partners to wonder if the relationship has run its course. If you are feeling neglected by your partner, investing in helping out by taking on more household chores, offering to run some errands or picking up dinner on the way over could motivate your partner to be more giving too, according to the TwoofUs.org article "10 Simple Ways to Make a Marriage Last." Showing gratitude for your partner's kind gestures can also be helpful.

Positive Outlook

Building a stronger relationship can also just be a state of mind. In the beginning, all of your attention may have been focused on your partner's good side -- but now that you have been together for a while, you can only see the bad. Choosing to also think about your partner's positive traits when the bad come to mind could help each of you approach one another in a gentler, more loving way, according to licensed psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein in the Psychology Today article "Three Thoughts to Help Save Your Loving Relationship." Remembering to forgive your partner's mistakes is also a key ingredient to saving your relationship. On a long enough timeline, each of you will hurt one another, and adopting a forgiving mindset can help you move forward. Holding onto a grudge will do neither of you any favors.

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