Romantic Anxiety

Romantic Anxiety

by Arlin Cuncic Google

About Arlin Cuncic

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Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.

Romantic anxiety can make being in a relationship stressful. You might worry about what your boyfriend is doing when he is not with you, whether he really loves you and if you can trust him. Being anxious can make you feel out of control and lead you to do things that push him away. Instead of imagining the worst, learn to hope for the best -- and your feelings of anxiety will lessen.

Anxious Attachment

Anxiety about romantic relationships may be traced back to your connection to your parents as an infant. An anxious "attachment style" develops when you don't feel you can trust or depend on a parent to provide care and love, according to therapists Carista Luminare and Lion Goodman in the YourTango article, "Is Anxiety Hijacking Your Passion & Romance?" Your anxiety about romance results because you are not certain you will receive the love you need.

Anxious Behaviors

Your anxiety about romance may cause you to act in unusual ways, says social worker Nancy Travers, in the 4Therapy.com article, "Relationships and Anxiety." You might feel suspicious of your boyfriend's behavior and call or text him to check on what he is doing. You might become needy or clingy -- constantly asking for reassurance that he loves you and is not going to leave. You might even do impulsive things or make rash decisions, such as breaking into his locker to look for evidence that he is cheating. Your anxiety can turn into obsession and may cause the thing you fear -- your partner to leave.

Manage Anxiety

Learn to manage your anxiety by developing coping skills to slow down your thoughts and control your emotions. For example, Travers recommends practicing deep breathing from the diaphragm when you are feeling anxious. Keep control of anxious thoughts by writing in a journal, practicing mindfulness (being aware of the present moment) or by imagining a positive future, as discussed in the American Psychological Association article, "What Are the Benefits of Mindfulness?" Do something for yourself such as taking a walk or listening to soothing music.

Seek Support

Having a sounding board can help. Be sure to talk to your partner and let him know how you are feeling, writes psychology professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne in the Psychology Today article, "Bad, Mad Love." For example, if a daily phone call from him would help you to feel more secure and less anxious, tell him. If your partner knows your triggers and what can be done to offer reassurance, both of you can feel more secure in the relationship.

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