How to Say I Love You for the First Time

by Laurie W

About Laurie W

Laurie is a widely published journalist and writer both in the U.S. and the U.K, covering everything from genetic sequencing to Maine Coons. Her stories have appeared in Time Out New York, Entrepreneur, SF Weekly, San Francisco Focus, About.com, the Hudson Dispatch, IET's Engineering & Technology, Yankee, Cape Cod Life, Victorian Homes, TechWeb and VNU's Business Travel News.

Saying "I love you" for the first time is always a dramatic, emotionally charged experience. But the words should never be uttered just because the mood has been heightened. When deciding when, where and how to make this major revelation, make sure you feel the words before you say them.

Love is Easy; "I Love You" is Hard

Get some perspective. The utterance "I love you" can be a melody to the ears, a feather touch to the senses--especially when we've been with our partner for at least a few months, and have been silently hoping to hear these words. Yet, before you say the words yourself, you must be very sure you can back up your admission.Say "I love you" only when you do.

Understand the signs. You will know you're in love if your partner is someone who is always there for you. He's the guy who ran to the pharmacy to pick up a thermometer and cough drops when you were sick. He doesn't play around. He wants to see what you'll look like when you're as old as your Grandma Sue. You have tickle fights in bed.

Summon up the courage to say it first, if you feel it strongly enough. Bravery is required, because there is always the chance you aren't fully loved back. Gauge your partner's affections by how much she's been there for you in the previous few months. She doesn't love you if she takes you for granted, plays around on you, can't remember your birthday or verbally abuses and/or criticizes you.So summon courage, but if too much courage is needed the time/person may not be right for these three words.

Brace yourself for the reply. The other person may respond with the classic, "Ah, that's so sweet. Thank you. I'm very flattered." There is almost nothing worse than hearing this, and it's what you risk when you say "I love you." So be ready.Ideally, plan to do something fun after you see your partner--just in case you end up depressed and crying in your beer.

Spit it out. Just say the words--gently, clearly and confidently. Most times, when we feel a strong urge to say "I love you," the other person does indeed love us back. If this is the case, you won't need any more advice on this matter. Instead, start searching for an engagement ring or bridal dress.

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Tips

  • Assess the situation clearly and honestly. If the person you think you love doesn't give you what you need or want, he really doesn't love you. So don't waste your time embarrassing yourself.
  • Say "I love you" for the first time when you are in a relaxed setting--like on the beach, at the park or at home.

Warning

  • Don't say "I love you" for the first time when you are in bed and/or have just had sex. The words do not mean as much, and your thinking is not clear.