Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist

by Kristen Marquette

About Kristen Marquette

author image

Kristen Marquette has been a professional writer since 2009 when FireLight Books published her debut novel, "The Vampiric Housewife." Since 2000 she has helped students hone their written and verbal skills in English as a tutor. She has a Bachelor of Arts degree from Michigan State University.

Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist

Narcissists suffer from a personality disorder that causes them to have an exaggerated sense of worth and a strong need to be admired by others. They also think they're superior to everyone else, display a high level of self-confidence, can't handle criticism, and show disregard for other people's feelings. Dating a narcissist can be draining and unfulfilling. If you suspect you're dating a narcissist, there are a number of signs to be aware of.

Expects Praise

If you're dating a narcissist, you'll notice they he not only wants to be praised for every little thing he does, but expects as much. For example, he picks you up on time for your date; even though this act is a basic show of respect and courtesy, he expects you to tell him what a great boyfriend he is merely because he made it to your place on time. Or gives you a gift for your birthday and wants you to tell him what a great job he did picking out the perfect gift -- he doesn't care to hear about how much you love, or dislike, the gift itself, because even though it's your birthday and your gift, the whole situation is really about him.

Dreams of Grandeur

Narcissists fantasize about power, success and their own attractiveness and have no problem sharing their thoughts about these with you. He will tell you about how he pictures himself being a brain surgeon one day even though he dropped out college. Or how he will one day live in a mansion, own his own jet and have a chauffeur even though he now lives with three roommates and doesn't have any career prospects. If you're out at a bar, he'll point out all the girls that clearly want to hit on him even though they barely glanced at him when he walked in the door. He plans to be famous one day, but can't say for what exploits. In a nutshell, he's deluded.

Exaggerated Achievements

A narcissist exaggerates his achievements or his talents. On your first date, he may list off all his incredible -- and not necessarily true -- accomplishments; e.g., he says he graduated from high school two years early, won a fellowship, has climbed Mount Everest and has an M.D. but is the CEO at his company, but in truth graduated high school, applied for a fellowship, dreamed about climbing a mountain, failed out of medical school and is merely the youngest employee -- not the CEO -- at his company. He also uses superlatives when talking about himself, such as "I'm the smartest man you'll ever meet" or "I'm the hardest-working employee at my job." (Reference 1)

Center of the Universe

As you date a narcissist, you will quickly realize the he thinks the universe revolves around him. He begins nearly all his sentences with "I." If you call him at work to ask a simple question, he gets upset, yet he'll call and text-message you while you're at work all day long just because he's bored. He worries about the way your appearance -- clothes, hair and makeup -- will reflect on him. He thinks he's so special that he shouldn't have to wait for a table at a restaurant.

View Singles Near You

Photo Credits

  • Jupiterimages/Goodshoot/Getty Images