By the time your boyfriend or husband packs his bags and tells you it's over, it's probably too late to save the relationship. But if you recognize the signs of his dissatisfaction early enough, you might be able to turn things around or at least prepare yourself for your future without him. Don't ignore your female intuition if you're feeling unhappy or frustrated. If he's no longer interested in physical intimacy and doesn't even want to talk to you, he might be considering a break. If he seems to prefer less time together and is argumentative or contemptuous toward you, it probably means he's begun to detach himself from the relationship.
Unhappiness and Frustration
All couples have their ups and downs, but increasing disappointments and hurts can signal the end of the relationship, warns psychotherapist and couples counselor Elly Prior in her article "How to Spot the Warning Signs of a Breakup" on the Professional Counselling website. If your guy is showing signs of depression and blames his negative mood on you or if he withdraws and refuses to discuss his reasons, he could be contemplating leaving. Men often have difficulty expressing their feelings, so sadness might be converted to anger, suggests Barbara Markway in a Psychology Today article.
When things were good between you, you probably shared the small details of your day with each other. When a man stops talking to you about his life and is no longer interested in listening to what's happening in yours, it could mean he's thinking of leaving, suggests Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D., in a Psychology Today article. At the end of a relationship, couples usually find their interactions consist more of arguments than discussions. If he seems relieved rather than concerned when you mention the possibility of breaking up, he's probably already thought about the end of the relationship. Pay attention to what he says to others when he talks about you; it's a bad sign if he no longer defends you to them.
Going Separate Ways
Men will do things they don't like to please you at the start of a relationship, but are no longer willing to do so as love fades, states relationship expert Samantha Daniels in "How to Tell if He's Ready to Leave." You've probably noticed you're spending less time together and no longer share beliefs or goals. And he might be staying longer at work and going out without you more often.
Physical intimacy is an important way to show affection. If your guy seems to have lost interest in sex and doesn't even stop to hug or kiss you, that's a warning sign that his affection has diminished. Even when there's a health issue that prevents sex, most couples continue to touch and caress each other. When this stops, it's usually a signal that something is seriously wrong with the relationship.
If your man is showing signs of contempt toward you, it might be too late to prevent him leaving; you might even be better off without him. He might express his contempt by refusing to even argue with you. Rude, dismissive gestures that suggest he doesn't want to waste his time engaging and that he's not interested in trying to resolve conflicts suggest the relationship is probably doomed and you'll both be happier apart. It's particularly hurtful if he ignores you and pretends you're not even there. It might seem as if everything you say or do irritates him. If he openly treats you contemptuously in front of others, you might find yourself wanting him to leave.
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- Professional Counselling: How to Spot the Warning Signs of a Breakup
- Huffington Post: How to Tell if He's Ready to Leave
- Psychology Today: Relationship Problems? How to Crack the Code of Men’s Feelings
- Psychology Today: 7 Signs You May Be Headed for a Breakup
- Oprah.com: 6 Signs Your Partner Is Secretly Unhappy
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