All animals have certain bodily gestures they use to signal interest to potential mates. Humans are no different. While other animals react instinctively to these signals, however, humans are “cursed” by the ability to think. People don’t like rejection, so they second-guess the signals they receive. But there is a foolproof way to tell if someone is attracted to you.
Observe what happens when your eyes meet. If she holds the gaze a couple of seconds longer than is common for strangers, she is nominally interested in you. If she looks away for a few seconds, and then looks at you again, you have intrigued her and she would like to get to know you better. Conversely, a continual gaze, without breaking away, is a challenging symbol, and usually indicates that she is not interested in your advances.
Watch to see if a potential mate lifts his shoulders once your eyes meet. This is an instinctive response to attraction that tells the person, “I am harmless. I like you. Don’t be afraid of coming closer.” Keep watching. Whether he lifts his shoulders once (kind of like a shrug) or several times, he is telling you that he will not reject your advance.
Move your eyes down to the feet. If her feet are turned inward, toward each other (pigeon-toed), this is another signal that she is interested in you. Like lifted shoulders, the pigeon-toed stances tells a potential mate that you are harmless. It encourages an encounter. In contrast, if she keeps her feet pointed straight ahead (or outward) she is telling you NOT to come any closer. Don’t even try.
Notice his hands. If she extends her palm upward a lot, either while gesturing to another person or while lying them on a bar or tabletop, he is attracted to you. Like all these steps, a “palm up” gesture signals harmlessness. It is a gesture of openness to your advances.
Let your eyes meet again. If she lowers her head and looks up at you at the same time, she is definitely smitten with you. This is an adaptation of the classic bow (used in the orient and other places) to signal respect, and definitely attraction. In contrast, if she tilts her head back, she is telling you that she is not available and will not be receptive to your advances. Approach at your own risk.
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- Determining whether someone is attracted to you by reading the physical cues takes practice. Don't be discouraged if you get it wrong on occasion.
- Illustration: Ashley Riot/Demand Media