How to Spot an Insecure Man

by Carrie Stemke

About Carrie Stemke

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A New York native, Carrie Stemke is an avid writer, editor and traveler whose work has covered many different topics. She has had a lifelong fascination with and love of psychology, and hold's a bachelor's degree in the subject. Her psychology research articles have been published in Personality and Individual Differences and in Modern Psychological Studies.

How to Spot an Insecure Man

Most men are insecure about something, but for some, insecurity is an central part of their personality. Insecurity is often connected to low self-esteem, writes clinical psychologist Rebecca Propst on her website, adding that individuals rarely feel inferior to others in just one area of their lives. Men express their insecurity in a relationship in a number of ways. Be warned, if he can't overcome his feelings of insecurity, you two will have a difficult road ahead of you.

He's Jealous of Your Friendships

You've planned a night out for just you and your friends for the first time in a while, and he's been upset about it ever since you mentioned it. Jealous, possessive behavior is a red flag that your guy is insecure, writes psychologist Joseph Nowinski in "Is It Love, Or Is It Insecurity?" on Psychology Today. An insecure man feels threatened by your relationships with friends and family. His insecurity will likely manifest itself in small ways, at first, perhaps in the form of questions about why you want to spend time with other people.

He's Always Showing Off

When a man constantly shows off and brags about himself, he's actually trying to cover up his insecurity and low self-esteem. A guy with low self-esteem is very concerned with what other people think of him, so much so that other people's opinions of him dictate how he feels about himself, writes psychotherapist Fran Walfish in the article "Self-Esteem," on her website. In an attempt to impress others, this guy might buy flashy, expensive possessions to exude an aura of success, or boast about his sexual prowess, engaging in unabashed womanizing, all out of a desire to be liked.

He Can't Take Criticism or Compliments

Insecurity reveals itself through a series of characteristics that are indicative of low self-esteem. An insecure man will be unable to accept a compliment, writes psychotherapist Gerald Stein, on his website. He'll also often make jokes at his own expense. Insecure guys are frequently reluctant to share personal information with others -- he'd rather change the subject than risk having you judge him based on something personal he revealed about himself.

He Requires Constant Reassurance

In a romantic relationship, happiness is often expressed by verbal reminders of how much you care about your significant other and how much you love being with him. In a relationship with an insecure guy, you'll likely find yourself reassuring him and building him up constantly, writes Nowinski. When he compares himself to others and invariably finds himself wanting, you'll wind up reminding him how great he is. You'll tell him how much you care about him, not because you feel like saying it, but because he needs you to say it or he starts doubting your level of commitment. This can lead to frustration, on your part.

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