Breaking up can seem like a traumatic and terrifying experience for anyone. Some couples will even go ahead and endure a failing and unhappy relationship just for the sake of avoiding all those bad feelings and perceived loneliness from a break up. The reality, however, is that leaving or being left by your partner doesn't have to be the end of the world. There are several basic tactics you can use to make the experience much easier.
Try to see what you can do to repair the relationship. You may have already broken up, but that doesn't mean that it's over permanently. Try to analyze the circumstances of how it happened, was it in the heat of the moment, or maybe because of a misunderstanding. If something like these is the case, then maybe sitting down and having a calm discussion with your partner can bring you back together. They keyword is calm. If you want to have any hope of rekindling the connection, you'll have to stay rational and cool headed.
Understand that a breakup isn't the end of the world for you or your future love prospects. Many people feel their greatest fear in a breakup not so much because they lost the person they were with, but because they're afraid of not finding someone else again. This is simply not true. In almost any situation, you will eventually find new romantic love and begin again, only better informed from what you've learned in your previous relationship. Focus on that, and on the fact that there are always new people to meet.
Don't obsess over the reasons for your breakup or blame yourself. You can't and shouldn't apologize for being who you are, and if that personality didn't work with your partner, than you are better off without them. Obsession and self blame can lead to lowered self confidence and a harder time bouncing back into the relationship game. Although it is important to honestly judge whether you could have done certain things better in keeping your love alive, but keep your judgment as objective as possible and don't let it cloud your self worth.
Distract yourself with friends and hobbies. The worst thing to do after a breakup is sulk and hide away, which will just exacerbate whatever ugly feelings you have. Go out, have fun with friends, take up hobbies and maybe even go on a long trip if you can afford to. These will distract you into feeling better until you've healed. They'll also open your eyes to the fact that life is still good outside the confines of your old romance.
Get back into the dating game when you're ready. Don't just jump with your heart in hands to the first person who shows interest in you as soon as you've left your relationship. This is unhealthy. But don't be afraid to start dating after you've calmed down a bit. Take things slowly and don't invest your emotions too deeply in any new romance. However, few things will help you feel better like realizing that you can still meet new people who are interested in you.
View Singles Near You
- You should also drop contact with the person you've left. Trying to stay friends can be a dangerous habit that just makes it that much harder for you to move on.
- Polka Dot RF/Polka Dot/Getty Images