When you break up with your significant other, you should be open to communication even though talking about the situation -- or to your ex -- may be the last thing on your mind. Sometimes, talking about your feelings with a trusted friend or a professional can help alleviate any overwhelming feelings of sadness, guilt or regret. Also, if you happen to run into the person with whom you're no longer involved, you want to be prepared to deal with the encounter appropriately.
Talking to Your Ex
Make eye contact with your ex if you see her in public and say "Hi." Don't try to avoid her. This can look awkward, especially if she sees you and knows that you see her. Remember, it takes a lot of time and energy to avoid someone forever.
Keep moving after you say "Hi." You don't want him to get the wrong impression such as you're interested in rekindling the romance. If he wants to stop and talk, do so if you feel comfortable. Stay away from stressful topics such as your breakup. Keep the conversation polite and simple.
Leave the area with a simple, "Well, I need to go, bye." Cut the conversation short if your ex starts to rehash old events.
Talking to Someone Else
Choose wisely when you talk to someone about your breakup. For instance, don't try to talk to a friend who has a stressful life with little time to talk. If you do so, you may not gain any satisfaction from the conversation.
Avoid continuing the conversation if the person you're talking to starts making negative comments about your ex or the way the situation was handled. You need someone to listen and offer positive encouragement as you try to deal with the situation.
Join a support group or seek out professional help from a counselor or therapist if you can't seem to move on with your life.
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- Take up a new hobby or join a gym to distract yourself from thinking about your failed relationship.
- Find an online forum that's dedicated to people who have suffered breakups. Post your story online and join in the discussions with others about their experiences. This is a place to communicate with others who understand your situation. This will also help you avoid dumping your woes on your friends and family, over and over again.
- While an occasional comment is understandable, be careful not to abuse your friendships by dominating every conversation with your woes about your past relationship. Genuine friends often welcome the opportunity to be supportive, but they may become tired of hearing you continuously rehash the details of the relationship and breakup.
- "Ebony"; Relax, Release, Relate; Shirley Henderson; May, 2005
- Help Guide: Coping With a Breakup or Divorce; Jeanne Segal, et al.; November, 2010
- "What Do I Do When?: Answering Your Toughest Questions About Sex, Love, and Dating"; Kevin Moore; 2009
- "Don'tdatehimgirl.com Presents So the Bastard Broke Your Heart, Now What?"; Tasha Cunningham, Alison James; 2010
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