Tips on Black Men Dating Black Women

Tips on Black Men Dating Black Women

by Audrey Farley

About Audrey Farley

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Audrey Farley began writing professionally in 2007. She has been featured in various issues of "The Mountain Echo" and "The Messenger." Farley has a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Richmond and a Master of Arts in English literature from Virginia Commonwealth University. She teaches English composition at a community college.

According to a study conducted by the Review of Economic Studies, black women strongly prefer to date within their race. However, their preferences about the black men they date are not as easily deciphered. An article in Ebony magazine reports that black women's preferences in a mate have changed since previous generations.

Show Interest

According to the BlackPeopleMeet website, "The key is to be interested but not too interested." Show the woman whom you are dating that you are interested by engaging with her in meaningful conversation. When she talks about herself, follow up with questions that are not too personal or invasive. By asking her questions and encouraging her to talk more about herself, you will send the message that you want to get to know her better. On the other hand, becoming too preoccupied with ascertaining all the details of her life may risk scaring her away.

Meeting Spots

Meet on neutral turf for the first few dates. Plan dates at spots where both of you will feel comfortable. Public places such as restaurants, movie theaters and parks make ideal first dates. Especially if you are meeting a blind date or a woman you met online, these settings are more safe and more comfortable for both of you. During initial dates, take time to really get to know her. According to an article in "Ebony" magazine, black women are looking for men that make them feel good about themselves. You can make your date feel good about herself by showing her that you want to take the time to get to know her and that your intentions are good.

Casual First Dates

Suggest meeting the woman for coffee or drinks before asking her out to dinner. Coffee and drinks set a more casual mood, so there will be less pressure on both of you, and you can relax and get to know each other. Once you have been on a few casual dates, ask her to dinner. By upgrading the dates to dinner, you will send the message to her that you are interest in moving forward with the relationship.

Be Yourself

According to Jimi Izrael, author of "The Denzel Principle: Why Black Women Can't Find Good Black Men," black women have very high standards when it comes to men. In the words of Izrael, black women's "unrealistic standards are probably born of bedtime stories about handsome, rich men on majestic horses delivering damsels in distress." But that does not mean you should try to impress your date by pretending to be someone that you are not. According to the Single Black Male website, black women are turned off by men who pretentiously employ big words or who boast excessively. Do not try to impress her by bragging about your salary or other professional or physical accomplishments. Even if you make big bucks and can run a mile in six minutes, it is unattractive to brag.

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