Although they have a reputation as dangerous, fast-living and reckless, the truth is that bikers are individuals. Some live up to the hype, while others are hardworking, honest and even soft-spoken people who happen to enjoy motorcycles. Some like to spend every night at a bar, while others are teetotalers. Some perform good deeds, while others are in and out of jail. Despite these differences, however, almost all share two things: a dedication to their bikes and a dedication to their riding buddies. Becoming comfortable with the biker way of life is a major component to having a successful relationship with a biker.
Learn the Lifestyle
Ask your boyfriend to teach you how to ride safely and comfortably on the back of his bike. Learn how to cope with long days of travel as well as shorter rides. Consider taking a motorcycle driving class as well. Even if you never plan to get your own bike, taking a class helps you gain a deeper understanding of your partner’s world. Research different types of motorcycles and the pros and cons of each. Choose a favorite, whether based on horsepower, style or design. You need not become an expert, but being able to identify and chat about different bikes will help you find common ground with your boyfriend and his friends. Ask your boyfriend to explain what being a biker means to him. Find out if he is a member of a particular motorcycle club. Ask him whether he attends certain events each year, hangs out in specific bars, or goes on designated rides with his friends.
Bikers have a specific bad-boy image that appeals to some women. Expect him to be hit on, especially if he attends high-profile events or is a member of a well-known club. In addition, biker gatherings are generally packed with bikes and people vying for attention. He might get distracted and not pay as much attention to you during an event. Head off jealousy by actively striving to develop confidence in your relationship and yourself. Of course, part of having confidence is standing up for yourself. If your boyfriend treats you badly, hold him accountable. Drunkenness, crowds and excitement are not excuses for bad behavior.
Get to know the people in your boyfriend’s club and any others that ride with him, as well as their wives or girlfriends. Women who have been involved with bikers for a period of time can give you tips and tricks for surviving all aspects of the lifestyle, from improving your relationship to staying comfortable during a three-day ride. Getting to know other bikers can also help you feel more comfortable at get-togethers.
Know Your Limits
Having a relationship with a biker does not have to mean plunging headlong into his world. If your boyfriend hangs out at biker bars but loud music gives you a headache, make other plans for those evenings. If you get saddle sore after four hours on the bike, you might choose not to go on a multi-day ride. It is healthy and normal for couples to spend some time apart, indulging their own interests. Maintain the life that you had before you met him, and make sure you see your friends regularly. Balance is the key to a happy and fulfilled relationship.
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