How to Understand why Men get Emotionally Distant

by eHow Contributor

Guys are practically a different species than girls. They are logical and analytical while girls are emotional and nurturing. But within a month or two of dating, you should be able to determine your guy's communication style, if he is quiet or if he expresses himself. Does he clam up during high stress times? Does he play a lot of sports when he is stressed? Does he withdraw into his own world when he has a problem? Does he communicate by talking if there is a problem? Does he block you out when he is having a problem? After two or three months, you should be able to determine why he gets distant and what if there is something bothering him. There are a few different approaches you can take for finding out his reason for distance. Stress, boredom, the need and desire of freedom, the need for sex, and avoiding conflict are a few reasons why guys get distant. Most guys deal with stress or any other problem through internalizing and trying to solve it on their own. Guys are not talkers like girls are. They are more introverted when it comes to dealing with emotions because guys are more analytical and rational than most girls are. They need to work out whatever problem they are having. In fact, guys are pretty simple characters. The more space you give him and observe his actions, the more you will see how simplistic he is. Read on to learn more about the reasons for emotional distance.

If he is stressed, don't cause more by asking what the problem is. The worst thing you can do is ask him what the problem is and not leave him alone until he opens up. The more you press by asking what is wrong, the more he will pull away. Let him have alone time to work a solution. Once he comes to a resolution on his own, he will bounce back with love, support and attention.

If he is bored in the relationship, then he is emotionally distancing himself from you. Ask him if there is something you are or aren't doing. Once he tells you the cause of the boredom, you can decide whether you want to fix it.

He may feel suffocated and feel the need for freedom. He may feel that you are getting too clingy and that he needs to spend more time with his friends. He wants his independence again. He needs to be able to do what he wants when he wants to do it. If he feels like he is chained to you, he is going to emotionally distance himself from you and finally break away.

There comes a point in a relationship where a guy says, "I'm just not into her anymore" but he still wants to have sex. If you are okay with the friends with benefits situation, then great. Yet, if you want more but he won't give it to you, then it might be time to pack up and move on. Let him mope around in his own distance.

Guys like to avoid conflict if they can. They clam up to prevent an argument if possible. If you are the type of girls who explodes at the drop of a dime, it might be time to rethink your approach. After all, just that may be the cause of his distance.

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Tip

  • Many guys want to avoid conflict when it comes to girls. They will distance themselves from whatever is causing the issue. Reactive girls are scary because they can't control their tempers and they leave messes for their guy to clean up. If he is distant because you have a tendency to explode, you're the one that needs to learn how to manage and deal with conflict, not him.