After a break-up, it's only natural to miss what the two of you had while together. Not every relationship can be repaired, but if your feelings haven't faded, it is worth exploring reconciliation. Don't force this on him or let yourself get talked into getting back together if it's not for the best. Your relationship should have had more good moments than bad for this to be worth your time.
Win Him Back
Take a few steps back. Consider what led to the break-up. If it was a single fight, this is something that can often be repaired. However, if your relationship had become filled with constant bickering and frustration, it might not be worth your time to attempt to fix something that's broken. The Ex-Boyfriend Help website recommends asking yourself, "Is this worth the fight?" Spend time with friends you haven't seen in awhile. Talk to them about how you feel and ask them if they think you have changed or if you are being too needy or clingy.
Give him space so that he has a chance to miss you. If you stay busy, you won't have time to call him, text him, and email him, things that can smother your ex, according to the Flip This Breakup website. This will give him a preview of what life will be like without you and allow you to get used to being independent if reconciliation doesn't work.
Fix yourself up a little. Sometimes during a long relationship, we allow ourselves to put on a few extra pounds, wear the same old jeans, and generally let ourselves go. Most men love confidence, according to the Ex Boyfriend Help website. Get a haircut, go for a run, and buy a few new outfits or anything else that will give you a confidence boost.
After at least a few weeks have passed, give him a call. Be friendly but not too eager, according to Cosmopolitan. If you're sure that he is single, start with something low-key, Cosmopolitan recommends. Ask him if he'd like to meet for lunch or a drink. Keep the first telephone conversation less than five minutes, explaining that you are busy. Creating a bit of mystery will interest him, according to the Flip This Breakup website. Don't tell him during this conversation that you want to get back together.
Remember what he liked about you. Prepare to show him a little bit of that part of you he fell in love with when you first started dating. Don't go overboard. If he loved that you had passion for your job, think of one story you can tell him that will remind him of this. If he liked your sense of humor, be in a light-hearted, flirty mood when you go to see him.
Tell him honestly how you feel when you get together. Apologize if there was something you did that contributed to the break-up. Don't make promises you can't keep or blame him for past fights. Ask him to consider getting back together. If he seems reluctant or doesn't immediately jump at the idea, tell him that you don't want an answer right away.
Wait. If he wants to get back together with you now, he will. No amount of begging will help, it will only make you look pathetic. Don't think up sneaky ways to run into him or find excuses to call him. He will see through it. After a few weeks if you don't hear from him, consider this a "no" and move on.
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- Stay calm.
- Keep busy so you don't obsess over him.
- Don't pressure him or let yourself get pressured.
- Don't spy on him or sneak around.
- Don't date someone else just to make him jealous.
- couple image by sasha from Fotolia.com