How to Write Online Dating Letters

by Louise Balle

About Louise Balle

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Writing an effective online dating letter (in email form) in response to a post or profile that grabs your interest can be challenging. Because the "meet and greet" is being done online in text form, your words will be analyzed more than they would be if you were speaking them. When writing this email, remember that less is more---give the basics now, and elaborate later when asked.

Step 1

Keep your email informal. It is not important to write with perfect grammar or form when writing a note to a potential online date. In fact, they might appreciate that you have flaws instead of an attempt at perfection.

Step 2

Keep your initial email short--two or three brief paragraphs. If you write a lengthy post or response letter, especially if it is full of demands and useless information about yourself, it can scare off a prospective dater and make you seem narcissistic.

Step 3

Introduce yourself briefly with your first name. For instance, start the letter with a simple "Hello, my name is Jackie."

Step 4

Tell the person that you liked his or her ad, and why. For example, if a woman mentioned that she likes baseball, let her know that you play for your local league. Tell her that maybe she could come out to one of your games soon---this could be the first step toward an actual meeting.

Step 5

List a brief description of yourself. Include your height, weight, hair color, eye color and body type.

Step 6

Write about the positive, and leave out negative comments. For instance, instead of telling the person how much you hate bowling, reality shows and pretentious men in your letter, tell him how much you like roller skating, sitcoms and humble men.

Step 7

Say something funny in your letter that could make the other person chuckle. If possible, refer to something she wrote in her post and tell your own quick, humorous story.

Step 8

Close the letter by telling the person that you would like to hear from her. A simple "Email me if you'd like to talk" will leave the door open for more contact.

Step 9

Attach a photo to your email if you feel comfortable doing so, but preferably after the second or third contact. The initial physical description should be sufficient for the person to determine if you are a suitable match.

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Tip

  • Avoid being sexually explicit in your description and language, or else a prospect might start to view you only in terms of a physical relationship.

Warning

  • Beware of spammers who post profiles and personal ads on online dating sites as a way of harvesting email addresses or getting people to pay for memberships to questionable sites. If the person's ad is light on information or seems too good to be true (such as describing himself as a model or rich) these are key indications that it might be a spammer.