If you've been together for years or what would seem a life time, it might be hard to tell when you've fallen out of love. This article is not definite, but it could help you sort out your feelings to find what's best for you.
Items you will need
- Clear head
Time is of the essence. You have probably heard of this several times in your life or know what it means. This may have started your quest to investigate your true feelings for someone who've you spent years with. Life is too short to spend it unhappy or you will live a life of regrets. Love is a tricky thing. There are different forms of love and if you're trying to figure out if you've fallen out of love with someone, you should start with being honest with yourself. Are you happy? I'm not talking about materialistic things and social ladders or even your job. But do you find yourself ever thinking about the other person sporadically through out the day for no reason and you can just smile? One way to figure out the truth is if you imagined that you were no longer with this person. Either they have passed on or moved on. How will you cope? Will you celebrate your freedom and jump on a plane to that hot vacation spot you've been longing to go? Or will you wilt because your Sun is gone and have your world fall around you?
Yes, having a mortgage, children, friends and families together can get in the way of really being honest with yourself and finding the real answer. Of course it's easier to have things stay the same. Change is never easy; but often times, they are for the better. When thinking about how you feel towards someone, you shouldn't factor in the variables that could be changed. You should see just that person and weigh out the pro's and con's of what you love and don't care so much for about this person.
The laws of attraction. Are you attracted to the other person, still? If you are not, can you figure out why? It's not just the physical form, but their personality as well. No matter what, people change. All the tiny or big things in life that happens to a person changes them in some way or form. The person you once knew might no longer be there because they have changed significantly. You have to remember what made you attracted to them in the first place. Now consider if you're still attracted to them. Don't jump ship just yet, you should also seriously consider if what you're not attracted to them could be changed if you both put some effort into the situation. If it's a weight issue or even a habit, work on it. If it still does not improve your outlook on them, then it could mean you have fallen out of love with them entirely.
A person's environment does not make them, but it can greatly influence them. Every place you go or everyone person you inter-act with gives off a certain vibe. It's a feeling and basically forms the relationship and how you are. If it's a sterile and professional environment, you will generally blend in with that environment and become it. Which is why a work place won't feel like home, but work. The same theory applies to home or how the "air" or environment is when you're with your spouse/significant other. Are you comfortable? Or are you on edge and feel as though you want to leave?
Physical attraction can only go so far. You typically don't fall in love with someone for their looks right away. Sure- it will be a crush and could possibly make you do foolish things to be near that person who you're physically attracted to. But when you get to know them, are they what you had imagined in your mind? You should be worried if you find that you can't talk to this person or be open and honest with them. Perhaps you keep things away from them because you know they'll be angry or get upset at your behavior. Can you figure out why you do this? Is it to get out of trouble or is this a bigger issue? Are you fearful of this other person or are you used to being sneaky?
A person's family could either be perfect or perfectly nightmarish. You could either be on great terms with the other person's family and don't want to ruin that relationship or you can really want to love this person but have their family be on rocky terms with yourself. This is a very tricky part. But it's actually quite simple if both parties can cooperate. You need to resolve within yourself to either put up with the family who doesn't like you and stay true and strong with this person, or have the other person stay true and strong with you and back you up on all things so your relationship can work (most likely, going into exile and no contact with their own family), or walking away. Family and love is one thing. You need to figure out how to balance it before you fall over and give up. One thing I want to note here is that the other person may take your request (if you choose to have them back you up and exile the family) as controlling. You have to make them see that it's not a form of control but rather a resolution to your rocky relationship. If you take out the root of the issue, it should be resolved. However, in the long run, they may grow to resent you for "forcing" them to separate from their family. There's no right or wrong answer here, but a lot of deep thinking is required.
You should assess all areas in your life to figure out the truth and how you feel. Simply rolling over and masquerading is a possible resolution as well because it's your life and you can live it as you choose. However, when you're tired of dancing and winning all those Oscars, you have to figure out what to do in the end. I hope everything works out the best for you.
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- Be sure to really consider all aspects and that you're not making the biggest mistake of your life. If in doubt, you should voice your thought with the person in question and get feed back from them. Are they happy, too?
- The family topic is a tricky one. You should be careful when dreading through these waters. If you're really bothered by it, you should stand your ground. A relationship is built on each other, not other people.