Self-esteem can take a real beating when a single person goes through a dating dry spell. When the only plans you have for Saturday night is watching a DVD with your cat, loneliness can make you cry harder than the tearjerker movie you rented.
While dry spells are a normal part of dating life, you can accelerate your dating by taking charge of your life and looking in the right places for potential dates.
Assess yourself and your environment. You want to look and feel your best to accelerate your dating. Check your wardrobe and start wearing the clothes that make you feel and look your best. Go shopping if you can't find anything in your closet that you like. Get your hair cut and have a manicure while you are at it. Clear drama from your life. For example, reduce or eliminate contact with negative people. Refuse to be involved with addicted people. Seek therapy to deal with emotional issues that might be holding you back. Organize yourself and your life so you can present yourself to the world as a confident, self-assured person.
List the qualities that you want in a partner. Focus on the traits most important to you and touch on all areas -- physical attributes, emotional characteristics and spiritual beliefs. Putting what you want into words sharpens your focus and solidifies your commitment to accelerate your dating. Dating the "wrong" people can wreck your self-esteem and discourage you from continuing your search. Know what you want to keep your dating experience positive.
Participate in activities you enjoy to meet people who share your interests, putting you a step ahead in the dating process. Think about your list and choose activities that attract the kind of person you want to date. If sharing your religion is high on your list, start your search at your place of worship. Athletes will encounter like-minded people at the gym and recreational events. If intellectual discussions are important to you, check out a book club or take a class.
Join an online dating site (see Resources) and post a profile. Advertising reaches a much larger dating pool, giving you many more opportunities to find a date. You can choose from free sites or fee-based sites. Some sites require answering questionnaires to better match you with potential dates. Screening potential dates in this way might result in fewer matches, but you will waste less time on dates that are not right for you. Specialty sites, such as dating sites geared toward horse lovers, can fine-tune your dating pool to the partners you have the most in common with. When posting an online profile, describe yourself honestly but don't be shy about saying what you have to offer. Include details about what you are seeking in a partner. Upload a picture of yourself to attract the most responses. To further increase your chances, post more than one picture.
Try speed dating. Speed dating sessions gather single people together in one location, typically a bar or restaurant setting. Couples are paired up and seated at tables where they have a short period of time, typically five minutes, to talk and hopefully connect. After the five-minute period is up, one person gets up and goes to another table and the process begins again. You can meet a dozen or more potential dates in a short period of time. Prepare a list of questions for your potential dates, keeping in mind that they will want to ask you questions, also. For the best results, go to these events with a relaxed attitude having only the expectation of a fun time.
Take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, eat right and exercise. Eating right and exercising not only makes you feel better physically, it will give you more self-confidence, which is always attractive. Going to the gym will help you lose a few pounds and opens up more opportunities to accelerate your dating with the people you meet at the gym.
- If you are new to online dating sites, try a free site first to fine-tune your profile and find out what works best.
- Always be security conscious when using an online dating site or speed dating. Meet your dates in public places and don't give out personal information until you've had a chance to get to know your potential partner.
- Carefully read any fee-based online dating site's Service Agreement and User Policy. Make sure you understand and do not violate the rules, which could get you banned from the site.