What to Do After a Bad Breakup?

A bad breakup can leave deep emotional scars if unaddressed.A bad breakup can leave deep emotional scars if unaddressed.

A bad breakup can leave you devastated, but you can turn this painful time period into an excuse to make some productive changes in your life and begin to find yourself. Bad breakups require time for you to address and express your feelings, and time to heal. With a few changes in your life, you can turn a bad breakup into a positive change in your life.

Healthy Communication

Healthy communication, after a breakup, includes talking about your feelings, including the painful ones, to people whom you know you can trust, such as your closest friends, family or religious adviser. If you feel they are unreceptive to you, or uncomfortable talking about the issue, move on to someone more willing to discuss your breakup. After a difficult breakup, having someone willing to commiserate with you and give you the support you need is an important part of the healing process. Avoid sharing your emotions with friends who were mutual friends of you and your ex, as this situation can put these friends in an uncomfortable position.

Let Yourself Feel

Emotional pain is real and a natural part of the breakup process. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions, and feel free to cry. Avoiding these emotions can be unhealthy and prevents you from addressing them. Bad breakups can leave you feeling betrayed, weakened or leave you with feelings of insecurity. If you feel uncomfortable crying in public, go somewhere private where you can be alone for a while, such as your home or a local park.

Take Care of You

A bad breakup can be emotionally devastating, but avoid allowing it to become physically devastating while using the time to create new habits to benefit you in the long run. Plan a series of changes in your life, such as eating a healthier diet, exercising every day or starting a new outdoor hobby. Give yourself something other than your breakup to focus on by forcing yourself to think about these changes everyday. Use these changes to restructure your life around your interests while enjoying the benefits of a healthier lifestyle.

Find Yourself

In a relationship, couples tend to construct their lives around the interests of each other. After a bad breakup, you may feel like many of your interests were shared interests or things your ex enjoyed more than you. Use the time after a breakup to figure out what you enjoy and explore activities, interests or pursuits that are appealing to you. Look for books you always intended to read or a genre of movies your ex never liked but you always wanted to watch.

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About the Author

Kristyn Hammond has been teaching freshman college composition at the university level since 2010. She has experience teaching developmental writing, freshman composition, and freshman composition and research. She currently resides in Central Texas where she works for a small university in the Texas A&M system of schools.

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