How to Get Around Fling Dating

Slow down your dating life and stop moving too fast with flings.Slow down your dating life and stop moving too fast with flings.

Fling dating is fairly superficial. Having a fling means that you're in a brief relationship -- if you can call it a "relationship" at all. During your younger years, flirty flings are often more the norm than stable, serious relationships. That said, if you are looking for something more substantial, taking your dating life to the next level isn't an impossibility.

Other Experiences

Short-term or fling relationships may come out of a need to explore what it is like to date different people. Young adults typically explore their own identities and try out new things, according to the article "Love and Romance" on the TeensHealth website. Even though it is normal to seek out new experiences during your younger years, you don't necessarily have to apply this to relationships. Instead, focus on expanding your set of friends. As opposed to changing dates, join the drama club or start hanging out with coworkers at the end of a shift.

Closer Call

If you date Mary one week, Tanya the next and Samantha the week after, you don't have the time to get close to any of the girls on an emotional level. Before you decide to move on and ask out a new girl, take a second look at your current girlfriend. Reveal your feelings and let your date tell you about hers, as well. Go further than asking, "What are your feelings about the new reality show?" and ask about her hopes, dreams, fears or life goals.

Commit Yourself

If casual is your keyword when it comes to relationships, consider the possibility of eventually making a commitment. Fling dating is the opposite of a committed relationship. Wanting to stop this type of behavior means settling down and pledging yourself to one person. Part of trading casual for committed is finding the right person, notes family therapist Karyl McBride in her article "Plant Both Feet in Relationships!" on the Psychology Today website. When you meet that someone special, don't run. Stay and see if you can make a commitment to her.

Deal With Difficulty

Dating isn't all rainbows and sunshine. When you're in a relationship, you'll have ups and downs that you can't fully control. Instead of running from fling to fling when things get tough, acknowledge that every relationship has its downside. Throwing away your budding partnership simply because you get in an argument or have a disagreement wastes the time that you've put into it. While you'll find that you can't heal all conflicts, give it a try before you move on to yet another casual relationship.

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About the Author

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.

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